Oh, Graduate School, you are so bittersweet. When I thought of you, I was ecstatic to progress to the next level of my education. I did my research, and knew where I wanted to go, but when I viewed your application, I began to question myself.
1. The Purpose Statement
If this isn’t the most difficult essay to write, I don’t know what is. Not that I expected it to be easy, but as I viewed the topic for about four hours, every thought going through my brain seemed wrong. Do I tell them about my life? Would that be manipulation? Should I talk about what’s inspired me? No clue. And I don’t mean just wrong, I mean, it had me so stumped that I began to question my intelligence and if I would even make it a day at the university.
2. What Creative Writing Program do I Want to Pursue?
Ok. I’m not sure why, but I thought there would be one or two options, no. There was writer’s workshop poetry in Germany, writer’s workshop poetry in England, poetry, creative fiction writing, creative non-fiction writing. Phew. This was more difficult than anything because I love each and every one of those subjects and want to focus on all of them.
3. Wow, I'm Growing Up
As if being years older than most students at my university doesn’t have me feeling old, going to the next level is a HUGE decision, and it forces me to be completely on my own. I’m making big girl decisions which is scary, but also feels liberating. I’m a hot mess.
4. What Piece of Writing Should I Submit?
Just when I thought it couldn’t get more challenging, it does. I’ve been writing since I was twelve years old and have A LOT of pieces to choose from. But that isn’t even the point. The point is that this is the only school that I REALLY want to go to and the piece of writing I choose is a HUGE part of whether I get in or not. In other words, do I send in a portfolio of poems or a short story? I will give it a few more days of staring at the application to decide.
5. Is New York too Far from Home??
Don’t get me wrong, Florida is great and us natives tend to forget that, but I need a change. Over the years, I have grown to the point where I’m able stand on my own two feet without being homesick, but I’m only a four-hour drive from home. Will that change if I’m a day drive from home? I don’t think so, New York is too distracting.
At the end of the day, I figure most people have these questions when applying for Grad School or even for their first big job. The normalcy of my feeling and emotions (yes, I cried a few times) told me that it’s just a big step and it’s certainly normal to be overwhelmed. To be honest, I’m just grateful to have the opportunity and that I was able to overcome a lot of hurdles to get to where I am today.
