There you have it. I opened up my closet, and (most) of my skeletons have seen the light. You've met them, stared them right in the face, and finally, so have I. I've come to realize that it's one thing to experience things for the first time, but it's a whole new ball game when you willingly take yourself back to experience them again. I was able to pick my own brain and dig deep to come to an understanding of how I felt, and how things have effected me. I thank each and every one of you who chose to accompany me on this journey, who let me in and became a part of what I experienced. You took the time out of your day to understand what I've been through or maybe even relate to you. Maybe I'm not the brave one here.

None of this was for you to show sympathy in my direction. This wasn't a "poor Taylor" situation. This was a "look at her go" type of thing. Self-healing set aside, my whole goal was to impact someone else's life. I wanted the people who experienced similar things to know they aren't alone, and for the people who've never seen anything like it to understand where disorder can come from. It was to raise awareness, make a difference. I found myself getting frustrated because I felt like my story wasn't reaching far enough. I was worried that I wasn't getting expansion. I was putting myself out there only to have reached the end of my own driveway. But I had those courageous people tell me that I helped them, and my world suddenly turned a little faster. I did make a difference, and that was only with who I was aware of. There are no words that I could create, that I could even type fast enough, to explain just how elated and comforted I am to know I helped.

I will always be okay, even when it doesn't seem like it to me or to the outsiders looking in. My life is so incredibly beautiful, and there are people who have seen darker and more twisted things than I have. I just worked seven days a week for 5 months because I couldn't imagine my passion slipping out of my hands. I get to plan my wedding and get married to someone who's seen me at my worst, and still chooses to stay. I'm watching my brother grow into the most impeccable man. There isn't enough time to list all the wonderful things happening around me. My anxiety, depression, PTSD, and paranoia may have something to say about my day to day life, but they can't take any of those things away from me because I. WON'T. LET THEM. They may protest and I may have bad days, but this isn't the end. My story isn't over.

I know these are things that I will probably carry for the rest of my life. There isn't any avoiding what you've been through in your life because it makes us who we are. I'll continue to stay in therapy and help myself stay self aware. I'll do my best to know when to stop and go, and when to just slow down a bit. Just because Mental Health Awareness Month is almost over doesn't mean that we have to stop being aware. Continue to be kind, continue to be helpful, build each other up because we all need it. Break the stigma because we're all humans, and we all just want to be loved and accepted.