The Hidden Genius That Is "Got 2B Real"

The Hidden Genius That Is "Got 2B Real"

The YouTube videos you've never heard of but should be watching
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Whether we realize it or not, we are constant consumers of media. We are bombarded incessantly with images, songs, videos, references; unless you live in a cave or a convent, pop culture in inescapable. And though some may argue that we need to unplug and reconnect with one another, I say we embrace it. We spent thousands of years with nothing to do but talk to one another, a few decades of TV won't kill us. That being said, if we're going to have our lives taken over by entertainment, the very least we can do is be discerning with our media and demand quality. Too often there will be a bright light in the desolate wasteland that is today's media which goes unnoticed while mediocrity is praised.

In other words, we should all strive to be Anton Egos with smartphones.

Me as I write this.

But one series (and I use that term loosely) which has gone largely ignored for too long is "Got 2 B Real," the ingenious brainchild of YouTube user Patti LaHelle. The videos, which are each threaded with an overarching story, are comprised of footage past and present of legendary singers, such as Patti LaBelle, Aretha Franklin, and Beyoncé Knowles. The original women are then dubbed over by Miss LaHelle, creating fictitious drama made up of dialogue that would make a sailor blush and a screenwriter jealous.

The "series finale" (again, I use that term loosely) was released by LaHelle on December 13th, and in less than 12 hours has already amassed nearly 20,000 views, impressive for a comparatively underground cultural movement.

The videos, which have been ongoing since 2011, have garnered scores of unwavering fans for a series of reasons: the rapid-fire delivery of hysterical one-liners, the realistic voices provided for everyone from Chaka Khan to Mariah Carey, the subtlety of some of the jokes and the bluntness of others, and the heightened drama between musical icons created solely for the show. The most glaring example is Aretha Franklin (or "Hateretha" as Dionne Warwick rasps in each episode) being consistently insulted by the other women, such as being referred to as "Angus" by fellow Grammy-winner Patti LaBelle ("Angus as in beef, beef as in cow, cow as in heifer, so I call her Angus).

While there are multiple, recurring references made to real-life events (the close relationship between Carey and LaBelle, Keri Hilson's lack of fame, Toni Braxton's bankruptcies, Aretha Franklin's weight problems, Fantasia Barrino's illiteracy), the humor is able to thrive on its own, with just enough contextualization to make it accessible to any and everybody. You don't have to be a fan of these women, but it doesn't hurt.

The reason I'm writing about these videos is not because I'm a fan of the celebrities being parodied, which I am, or even because I'm a fan of the show, which I am, but because this is the kind of humor that needs to be recognized and appreciated more widely than it is. These videos are in the same vein as "30 Rock," a barrage of jokes pitched at the viewer leaving just enough time to gasp for breath between barbs, that must be watched more than once to catch everything, each time with something new to offer. "Got 2B Real" entertains without patronizing, and though the viewer is always in on the joke, you will not be spoon-fed. But if you can keep up with the grueling pace for each episode's ten minutes, you'll find that the benefit outweighs the effort.

"Got 2B Real" is ingenious, but it isn't for everybody. It's more clever than most of what's on TV, but it will probably never have the fanbase it deserves. It's high camp and lowbrow, with banter not seen since "His Girl Friday." Simply put, if we are to be media-savvy, critical to the point of Anton Ego, "Got 2B Real" can and should be our ratatouille, a transcendent dish that is at the same time an acquired taste.




Cover Image Credit: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzz7yj1fhF1r10pkdo1_500.png

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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A Beginner's Guide to Milwaukee Sports

Part I: The Bucks

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Being a college student in Milwaukee has its perks, especially for sports fans. Now, while some may have brought their hometown teams to college, others (myself included) may have warmed up to the Cream City teams without knowing much about them. If this is the case for you, then these pointers can help you start enjoying Milwaukee basketball without looking and sounding like a bandwagon fan.

Quick History

www.nba.com

Here are some facts about the Bucks that can make you feel more knowledgeable about the franchise:

- They have only won one championship (back in 1971) and have lost one NBA Finals series (1974) (Land of Basketball)

- They have only had one* MVP-caliber player in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (#33) during the 1971, 1972, and 1974 seasons (Land of Basketball)

- Other Notable Players Include: Oscar Robertson (#1), Sidney Moncrief (#4), Jon McGlocklin (#14) and Ray Allen (#34) (Land of Basketball)

*Giannis Antetokounmpo may win the MVP award this year

sited: https://www.landofbasketball.com/teams/milwaukee_bucks.htm

Gear Up

https://twitter.com/bucksproshop/status/982026548705415168

This one is a bit of a no-brainer. Wearing team's colors or spirit wear is a must, especially if you're going to a game. Most items like hats and t-shirts are perfectly acceptable, and these are great if you're not trying to break the bank. Buying your gear from a sporting goods store will usually be cheaper than buying them from the team store (the main one of which is located in Fiserv Forum). Most online stores like NBA.com, Fanatics, Fansedge, and sometimes even the team's online store will have sales on sports gear, so getting a good deal on team wear is always a plus!

A Word of Caution: Jerseys

All three of these players are not part of the 2018-2019 roster and #77 and #3 have been reused by current players Ersan Ilyasova (#77) and George Hill (#3)

www.nba.com

If you're willing to go the extra mile, buying a jersey can really get you into locked in and pumped for the live action. However, it should be kept in mind that official Nike NBA jerseys range from $110-$250, so they definitely are an investment. While there are other options available like the FastBreak jerseys by Fanatics, they are a simpler (still official) knockoff of the Nike jerseys. Also; beware buying sale jerseys. There are usually three reasons why jerseys are ever on sale (aside from a storewide sale): a player is injured, a player doesn't play much and is about to be traded, or a player has been traded. While there is nothing wrong with having the jersey of a player who went on to another team (like Kareem and Allen), you are not exactly going to get brownie points for wearing a Jabari Parker or a Thon Maker jersey anytime soon.

Know The Current Squad

Fiserv Forum, Home of the Milwaukee Bucks

www.nba.com

Everyone in Milwaukee has heard of Giannis Antetokounmpo, but who else is part of the supporting cast?

Starting Five for the 2018-2019 Milwaukee Bucks (Basketball Reference):

- #6 Eric Bledsoe at Point Guard

- #13 Malcolm "The President" Brogdon at Shooting Guard

- #22 Khris "Money" Middleton at Small Forward

- #34 Giannis "The Greek Freak" Antetokounmpo at Power Forward

- #11 Brook "Splash Mountain" Lopez at Center

Student Perk

www.nba.com

Using your university email, you can get special discount ticket offers for home games by signing up for the Bucks' Student Rush Program. Tickets usually start at $15 per ticket, and the seats available may depend on who the Bucks are playing (and how well they are doing during the season).

Get Involved and Have Fun!

Mascot Crawl GIF by NBA - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

Don't be afraid to get into it! The Bucks are an amazing team to watch and they love Bucks Nation. In addition to cheering at games, going to team events and player appearances can be great ways to make memories and even get an autograph or two!

Are You a Bucks Fan Now?🦌

media1.tenor.com

I think Giannis would agree!

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