My brother and sister are my heroes. They save me every day from sad moments, they fix my heart when it is breaking, and rescue my mind when it’s spinning. They are my heroes. I want them to look back and remember me before it’s too late. The best thing I could think of was this. For them to read and remember me. I have always and will and always love you. When you need to find a door to knock on, mine will always be here.
Hannah,
we used to not get a long, do you remember that? It is crazy to think that we didn’t because i couldn’t imagine it being different compared to now. I wish I could go back and change the cruel things I said to you, and exchange them for nicer things instead. I wish I would have hugged you more before it was too late. I remember the night I decided to leave and you were very upset. I want you to know that I cried the entire ride to wherever I was going. I just wanted to be back with you. I hope you remember our dances, our make up sessions, our hair times. I hope you don’t forget the blades of glory dance i do to make you laugh. I hope you remember the telling you that you are beautiful, smart, and funny, because you are. you have a smile that could light up the world. i hope you remember that you are worthy and adventurous and that anyone would be blessed to be friends with you. i hope you remember me. i hope you remember that i’m always here whenever you need me. because i will always remember you. i remember you called me whenever your first boyfriend broke up with you, hearing your cry broke me. even when we didn’t get a long, your pain was my pain. I will always be here to listen to you cry. Hannah, you have appeared in my mind many times. When i’m sad, you appear, when i’m happy, you appear, and when I want to laugh, you appear. You’re my hero. You have saved me from wanting to give up. I love you. I hope you remember to smile that beautiful smile of yours daily, and never lose that sweet heart of yours. I will be here when you need me.
Van,
my sweet sweet Van. I remember always wanting a little brother. I knew he would be just like you, and that’s why I wanted one so bad. I loved your sweet smile, your adventurous self. You taught me so much, did you know that? You showed me things I didn’t know. You’re incredible. You figured out how to tie an army man to a plastic bag to make a parachute, you draw things perfectly after only seeing them once, and you are the best puppet perfectionist I know. I remember one of the last nights I spent with you. We played puppets and you like when I do the same thing, (take food from you and pretend it is poop and make a throw up noise) lol that’s your favorite. Boy, did i ever think to myself how much i would miss that. Every night when i watch our puppet videos, I just wish i could do it once more. Van, you are smart, funny, and handsome. You care about everyone and you aren’t afraid to jump. You’re so young right now, so i know it will be hard to keep up with you, but i’m here. I will always be here. I have a video of you singing “you got a friend in me”, and that video helps me get through days like today. A long with the picture I have kept of you in the back of my phone for years. I love you Van. I love you so much and i just miss you like crazy. If you ever read this, please remember that you always have me. Forever. You’re my hero.
You both are going to do something amazing when you grow up. You’re my heroes. I couldn’t get through today if it weren’t for you both. I have to spill my heart out before it gets to be too much. I love you both very much and I hope you understand that. My door is always open, forever.
-Mad
11-10-2019
