For me, going to a small town school meant one thing: chomping at the bit to leave. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nickerson High School. I loved my friends. I loved my coaches. I loved the place that had helped mold and form me into the person that I had become. Nonetheless, when graduation day came around, I was ready to say goodbye, and here are a few reasons why:

1. I was ready to make my life my own.

There’s something especially exhausting in living a life that is full of unrealistic expectations. In high school, it was like a constant probe from friends, teachers, parents and coaches to be the person that they always knew and expected you to be. While this might be beneficial in some ways, like getting good grades and taking leadership positions, it also meant holding on to reputations and contexts that weren’t necessarily favorable. There was never an option for you to grow into a different person without some sort of loss of respect or question of authenticity. Many times in my high school career I saw people blossom into happier versions of themselves, only to face social backlash because they were behaving differently to the norm. Change is hard when you live and grow in a small town, but sometimes the community only makes it harder.

2. I looked forward to exploring different options.

Everyone hated English. Everyone loved Home Ec. If your friends were athletes, you remained an athlete. Your group was highly involved in the music department? Yeah, you were too. You went with the flow and stuck with what was popular to spare yourself, even if it meant sacrificing some of your interests for less public circumstances. I loved English. Talking about books and learning about clauses tickled me freaking pink. When it came time for college visits, my desire for something different only grew. I loved the idea of having the option of being passionate about a subject that I truly cared about without those who I considered my close friends and peers passing judgement. Different options for the direction of my life and my identity were what I longed for, so come graduation day, that excitement and readiness outweighed my mournful feelings of a closed chapter.

3. I needed to get out of the rut.

Every day I got up at 6:30 (give or take a few missed alarms). I went to the Kwik Shop before school started, and was in class by the time the first bell rang at 8:10. Every day I was prepared to sit through a day filled with much of the same that yesterday was filled with. And the day before that. And the day before that. And so on, and so forth. However, every day there was this small voice in my head that continued to pose the question: “How do people keep the same routine every day for the rest of their life?” One day it hit me. This could very well be my life if I would have decided to stay home, and, while I loved (and love) those friends and family that tied me to that place, the rut of Nickerson High School was not one that I was eager to continue in college. Leaving what I considered home was going to shake my very foundation, but, as many of my coaches had taught me, I had to get comfortable being uncomfortable, and leaving Nickerson behind was the first step in doing just that.

4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Now that it has been a few years since I’ve graduated and ventured out on my own, it causes for me to reflect on my home, and Nickerson, with an affection that I’m sure I wouldn’t have had I chosen to stay. There are mornings where I miss getting up to go to Mr. Garrett’s art classes, and being able to feel the cool breeze coming through the cracked window as I’m throwing on the wheel. There are some lunches where I wish I could have my high school friends there with me, making me laugh and easing the anxieties of daily student life. It’s rare that I don’t miss high school practices with teammates that felt were more like family, and when I come home, sometimes I like to just drive by to think of all the good memories that are housed within the walls of Nickerson High School. While I appreciated and loved these things while I was a soon-to-be-grad, my affection and pride in my school only grows the more I gaze through the lens of my fondest memories and continue to adventure through life away from the familiar.