Dear Maw Maw,
As I sit down to write this letter to you I can’t help but cry and think about how much I miss you. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you and I want to say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that it is so hard for me to come to the assisted living place you’re at and watch you drift away. I’m sorry that I can’t seem to suck it up and come be there for you. I’m being selfish and I know you need me right now. What I want you to know is that I want to come and see you and I want to be there with you but, I also want to keep the memories of summers with you fresh in my mind and not memories of you not realizing who I am unless my mom tells you.
I also want to thank you for teaching me so much. Thank you for showing me what a strong independent woman looks like. I admire you so much. You have taught me to always be strong in my faith and to never lose hope. Thank you for always being there for me and taking my side when I was mad at mom. Thank you for always putting me first no matter what. All those summers spent with you mean more to than you’ll ever know.
I wish you were able to watch me grow up and become the woman I know you would be proud of. I wish you could be there to watch me walk down the isle and be proud of the man God chose for me. There are still so many questions I want to ask you. There is so much knowledge and wisdom that I feel like I am missing out on.
There is so much that I miss about you and you’re not even gone yet. I miss holidays with you and the no bake cookies that you would bring. I miss you shushing us kids at church so we wouldn’t get in trouble by Brother Gene. I miss watching "The Young and the Restless" at noon everyday during the summer. I just miss being in your presence.
I want to thank you for giving me so much. You have given me the best mother a girl could ask for. You have given me the best aunts and uncle in the world. You have given me a life full of love and laughs. Those are things that not just anyone could give me.
You’re an inspiration to me and I only hope I can grow up and be half the woman that you are. Even on these tough days where you just want to be with the Lord you still seem to have a smile on your face or laugh at yourself. I know that when it’s your time you won’t be in pain anymore and you’ll be happy and with Paw Paw again. As for right now I want you to know that we love you more than life and we already miss you.
This is hard for all of us, especially me, I didn’t get as much time with you like the rest of the family did. I’m upset because you are going to miss out on so much of my life. I am also so blessed to know that I will have a guardian angel watching over me for probably the toughest parts of my life. You never realize how fast life goes by and that we don’t get to keep everyone forever. I wish I had more time with you but that’s not what God wants. When I found out that Hospice was being called for you my heart broke and I was filled with regret. After a few weeks of feeling this way I decided that I shouldn’t regret anything because that is something you wouldn’t want. You have lived a beautiful life and have blessed me with so much. I think I am coming around to being at peace with you departing from this world and now it’s time to realize you’re going to a better place.
I love you so much and want you to know I’m going to be okay.
Love,
Meg
