The time has now come for me to leave my small hometown for the huge city of Chicago. I mean, moving from a town of 10,000 residents to the third largest city in America is kind of a big deal. College has always been the plan for me. I printed out college packing lists as early as the fourth grade. However, I never imagined going to school in Chicago. It's crazy to think that I am now at the point where I am leaving in one week.
I have always felt stuck in the environment I grew up in. For years, I have been reminded of the pain I've faced in my hometown, and I've been ready to escape. Obviously, I am not the only high-school graduate who has gone through something. Many people want to get away from their hometown because college is a fresh start. Some students might use this to their advantage, but I'm not going to lie about myself or my past. It's nice, however, that people don't know everything about you right away. I can feel free to be myself. I've always thought that when I went to college I would be able to be the person I want to be. Recently, I have realized that I have no idea who that person even is. I know it sounds cliched, but I plan on taking that amazing journey of "finding myself."
Even though I have not figured myself out yet, there are many things I already know I want to accomplish. Improving myself in every way possible is my main goal. I want to be happy. In the past, I have used my surroundings as an excuse to be unhappy. I feel like I finally deserve happiness and love. I want to love myself for who I am. I want to be healthier physically, mentally and emotionally. Learning new skills for my future is so exciting. I want to start new habits, like drinking tea every day and working out. I want to take more photographs. Sign language might be challenging, but I am so eager to learn it. I want to take risks; I never want to play it safe.
I'm letting go of the girl I used to be, fully prepared to be the woman I want to be. I'm letting go of the anger, bitterness and negativity I have had in my heart for the past four years and moving on. I cannot keep holding on to pain that brings me down. I am not going to be that girl anymore. The girl that you've known for the past four years is saying goodbye for forever, but the new and improved me will be excited for a new hello.
