As I take a deep breath, and collect my thoughts, I realize I have so much to say. It's as if my hands are doing the talking for me, and the page is filling up with all of the emotions I am feeling. As the words spill out, I feel a sigh of release- I finally don't have to worry about being good enough for you. Why? Because I look way better without you.
When I was with you, it's as if I was always walking a fine line. I couldn't be myself, I could only be the version of me that you "loved." I held back my feelings to save yours. I didn't stick up for myself, because you were "always right" anyways. I couldn't be me. But you leaving me made me feel more alive than I ever have been- more than I ever was with you.
When you left me, I took a look in the mirror. I looked at who was staring back at me, a reflection I didn't recongnize. I wiped the tears falling from my eyes, I washed off the make-up that was smudged on my face, and I said "you're beautiful," something I hadn't heard in a while.
That's when it happened. That's when I realized I am beautiful, and being with you hid all of these things I had forgotten I loved about myself. After I dried the tears you didn't deserve, my blue eyes shined brighter than they ever have. My smile was more white, my skin was more clear, and the confidence I thought was gone was more radiant than ever. Everything you took for granted was coming alive again, and by the time you realize it, it'll be too late for you.
I looked in the mirror everyday after you left me, and everyday I found another thing to love about myself. I loved my tan skin. I loved my beautiful brown hair. I loved the freckles on my face, and the dimples on my cheeks. Most of all, I loved me. I loved who I was without you. I loved that I found a reason to smile again, and that reason was me. I loved that I spent more time laughing than crying. I loved that I felt great in my skin. Who knew that you leaving me would bring me the confidence I needed to get over you. You lost me, I didn't lose you. I'm back and better than ever, and I guess I have you to thank.
So thank you for leaving me. Thank you for giving me the chance to realize I am beautiful. The chance to realize that being with you only held back the beautiful person I am inside and out. Thank you for showing me exactly what I don't want. Thank you for helping me realize, I look so good without you.
