"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Many of us have grown up with this saying drilled into our ears whenever a fellow classmate in grade school was being less than amiable. No matter how many times we have numbly heard this statement, we know it is far from the truth. Words hurt. And they hurt deep. Some of us would rather be struck with sticks and stones than with toxic, biting comments. No matter how resilient we may pretend or hope to be, words cut deep to the core. To make matters worse, those words, most of the time, hurt unintentionally. Loved ones don't realize the power and weight of their words being flung around with pure naivety. One of the most oblivious ways is through humor. Friends crack jokes, tease, and poke fun with innocent intentions of making a group cackle and slap their knees.
But where is the line between funny and hurtful?
Sometimes, it seems as though people can get away with spouting malicious comments as long as they end it with "just kidding". Is this a blanket statement we can use anytime we want to passive aggressively tear down others without getting in trouble? It's almost as though we can get away with unnecessary honesty, bitter remarks, and degrading wisecrack so long as it makes others laugh. Have we utilized humor as the safe avenue for carefully destroying the self-esteem of our closest friends and family?
It may never be our intention to hurt others or even let resentment towards someone be expressed through this joking manner. Sometimes bitterness, we had no idea existed, spews out in a "just kidding" comment and we, ourselves, are taken aback by the joke dripping with animosity. We hope, though, that in this moment of accidental assault on someone's feelings that the victim to the pernicious comment would laugh it off and flippantly assure us, "it's okay".
Maybe the person hurt isn't even offended in that moment. Maybe they laugh, joke, and make fun of themselves, too. But, maybe, eventually, the replay of the joke makes a sudden appearance, in the mind of the scapegoat, after all the laughing has ceased. Maybe, suddenly, the insecurities they wished to push aside become heightened in light of the joke made.
Why do we accept humor at the expense of others?
Words, even in the context of jokes, hold so much weight. Maybe we should realize that the impact words have had on us since grade school also apply to the way they are used in funny banter. It's time to be conscious of the way our words affect some of our closest friends and family, even when it's unintentional.
