This will be the beginning of my sixth semester of college. You would think, as a grizzled, eternally tired double major, that I would have it all together. Instead, I use myself as an example of what NOT TO DO. I have my bad habits, that I should change, but I won't, until it is too late. More often than not, I am too stubborn for my own good, particularly when it comes to the old adage "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

So here, I will give you a list of ten things that make me a horrible warning of what NOT TO DO.

DON'T DO THESE

Seriously.

DON'T


DON'T DO IT

1. Don't keep up with your beginning of the semester practices.

I mean, who needs to do homework, essays, and projects in ample time? Who needs legible, organized notes? Who needs to closely examine each and every reading? Not this guy.

2. Go ahead and don't keep a regular meal schedule

Who needs regular meals? They don't help your metabolism or circadian rhythm or anything. They don't help your mood or anything either. Upset stomachs are great too, right?? (Disclaimer: I have gotten much better at this, after one too many upset stomachs)

3. Don't keep a good sleep schedule either

WHAT IS SLEEP?! I, like many of my fellow students, have bags under my eyes that cost a ton of money. Even though some semblance of a sleep schedule helps your mood, your metabolism, your physical health, and numerous other things, it is waaaaay better to work on my raccoon impression, finessing my dark circles.

4. Don't do "chores" as often as you should.

You should wait until your trash bag is overflowing to take it out. You should also wait to vacuum your floor, because you can. As long as you have underwear, you don't really need to do laundry. (Disclaimer: Putting off laundry is a BIG mistake when you have short little arms, the laundry is three floors down, and you really like wearing sweatshirts.)

5. Go ahead and eat badly

(Mom, this rarely happens, put the phone down.) You can totally eat your feelings when you have had a bad day. Also, vegetables and fruit are gross!! The digestive distress and the decreased mood are TOTALLY WORTH IT.

6. Put the Pro in procrastinate

All of that extra stress makes life WAY more exciting.


These last few are things that have happened to me in the past that I would not wish on anyone. I do not continue, nor condone these practices.

7. Wait until things go haywire to go to office hours

This made my freshman year FANTASTIC. One class I was able to understand everything and the next class the same professor was seemingly speaking gibberish. Only when I got back a gruesome test grade did I go to office hours. I was incredibly lucky to pass that class with a C.

8. Don't take chances

Who needs the benefits that outweigh the risk? Who needs to make really good friends by venturing completely out of your comfort zone? Who needs to learn valuable lessons by venturing out of your comfort zone? You certainly don't want to find a purpose doing those things either. That's far too crazy.

9. Don't stand up for yourself

Who needs to be authentically themselves? Who needs to let people continually badmouth who you are to your face and do nothing? Who wants to be their own person? (Disclaimer: Even though my knees were (and still sometimes) shaking in addressing these issues with friends and family, standing up for myself has made my relationships with these people stronger, and renewed my faith in myself.)

This last one has personally not been me, but I have seen it too many times.

10. Don't talk to anyone

You don't need to meet some of the greatest, goofiest, most caring people of your life. They're not your major. They're not from your hometown or high school. You don't need to have wonderful experiences at concerts because of them. You also don't need to go on a midnight doughnut run with them. That's too much.