Death is never easy, no matter if it's a grandparent, friend, or even a pet. But sudden deaths are harder for people to wrap their minds around, including for myself. My friend's death, in particular, took everyone by surprise when he committed suicide in October of 2013.
It's crazy to think that it's almost been two years since his family's, fraternity's, and his friend's lives changed forever. I remember exactly where I was when my sister told me the news. The situation was so unbelievable that she had to repeat herself several times, each followed by me saying, "Nuh uh! Him?! There's no way!"
Even though we never hung out on a regular basis or talked every chance we got, he was still a good friend to me. He always had a smile on his face and did everything he could to make your day better in some way or another.
I remember leaving for class one day, the same time he was, and not having the best day. It was as if nothing could go right. But then he skipped ahead, literally skipped, and picked me a flower, getting down on one knee to give it to me; my whole day turned around in that moment. He was such a goofball, but everything he did, he did to make other people smile and be happy. And then he was just gone.
When someone takes their own life, everyone, not just the family, thinks to themselves, 'Why?! Could I have done something to change this? Should I have seen the signs? Were there any?' I had these same questions, too. I saw him one day in the library, a few weeks, maybe, before this all happened. He was just sitting there studying, too focused to see me there. I was getting up to leave and, even though I saw him, I just walked away. I didn't say "Hi" or "How are you?" I just left. Sometimes I think to myself, Why did I just leave? How could I not have said anything to him? Little did I know that that would be the last time I saw him alive.
Looking back, I think, What if our conversation could have saved him? It took my friend's suicide to show me, and everyone else, that every moment counts and that's the reason why I say hi to everyone I know, instead of just letting them walk on by. I want them to know that I see them and that they mean something to me.
His death not only shook his family's, his fraternity's, and my world; it seemed to shake all of UA. I give a lot of credit to his fraternity for all that they did for his family and the class and strength they showed after they learned of his death. His fraternity delivered pizzas to his family, so they didn't have to think about their meals, raised over $10,000 for his family for any funeral expenses, and took their brother's younger siblings under their wing, telling them that they are always welcome and have a place to come to be close to their brother.
His fraternity held a candlelight vigil, and all of UA's Greek life came to support a lost brother. That ceremony was so beautiful and touching. I think he really would have liked it and would've been surprised because of how many lives he unknowingly touched; because of all of the days he made and for all of the people that never forgot.
I wish suicides would cease to exist. I wish they were only a part of the world's past and nothing more, but people take their own lives every day; all over the country—all over the world.
If there's anything I want my readers to get out of this article, it's to say hi to people you think are too busy to interrupt—interrupt them. Remind people every day how much they mean to you and the memories that they'll never forget. You never know when your last moment will be with that person. I wish I would've taken the same opportunity.
To my friend: I miss you—some days a little more than others.Thank you for being a part of my life for even the short amount of time that you were. Thank you for the daffodil that makes me think of you every time I see them. I hope you're resting easy up there in heaven, skateboarding everywhere you go. We miss you down here on earth but know that you're in a better place. I'll miss you always.
Love your friend,
Lo
