Yeah, you have those friends that you casually talk to and maybe hang out some but have you ever felt like there was just no one there who just wanted to be around you?

Everyone says "they don't have any friends, there must be something wrong wrong with them" and you think what if something is wrong with me? What if I'm my own problem? Maybe I'm the reason no one wants to be around me. Those thoughts just make you harder on yourself. "You could be so much nicer", "maybe you should be more open", all these things run through your mind, leaving you all wrapped up in what ifs.

Have I been there? Unfortunately, I have.

Don't get me wrong have one or two friends, but I've always felt like the odd friend out. Like my other friends would have so much more fun if I wasn't around. I can't tell you how many times those things have gone through my head, honestly more than I'm proud to say. I think we all have thoughts like that at one point, thinking you're lesser than the people around you but you're not.

My boyfriend has so many more friends than I have, when he tells me he's going to do this or that with them, I get jealous. I don't do it on purpose or to make him feel bad, I do it because I wish I was in his shoes. I want to be the one with all those friends. I want to feel like I have so many people that care about me like he does. Sad isn't it? I'm jealous of someone else's ability to make friends.

You can say "all you have to do is put yourself out there" and I'll think "then there's rejection if that person doesn't reply or says no". I don't mean to be that sort of person but I am, and so are so many other people. You want to have those friends that you just know will be there when you need them or that you can spill all your problems too without them judging you. You want someone who cares about your well-being.

I've tried hard to make myself the person who is just straight forward "hey, do you want to hang out sometime?" And I've come to realize I'm just never going to be that type of person. I'm not the blunt, just come out and say it type of person and that's okay. I don't have to be and you don't either.

You don't have to have tons of friends to be happy or be asked to hangout every weekend. You have to stop thinking about all those what ifs and see that you're just as good as all those people you're comparing yourself to. If you see someone that you think you could be best friends with message them, tweet them, Snapchat them, whichever, but until you try to break out of your shell, you'll never know all the friendships you may have missed out on.