Going Out: As Told by Someone With the Soul of a 60 Year Old Woman | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Going Out: As Told by Someone With the Soul of a 60 Year Old Woman

Laura Selak
Feb 10, 2015
University of Arkansas
14
Going Out: As Told by Someone With the Soul of a 60 Year Old Woman

Preface: This is for all you ladies that like chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool instead of going out. I feel your struggle.

(Also Tina Fey gifs)

 

 
 

Ugh, my roommate just asked if I wanted to go out with her…

 
 

But I already took my bra off and I have a lot of homework to do Netflix to watch

 


 

Maybe I can convince her to stay in with me, drink wine and watch a movie

 
 

Or I ignore her and hide in my room until she gives up and leaves me alone

 
 

Didn’t work. She found me under my bed and now I’m going out…..

My hair has been in this knot on top of my head for the past like 4 hours, which means I have to shower….

This is already exhausting.

Do I have to shave for this?

 
 

Nah I’ll just wear pants

 
 

Maybe a shower beer will help get the party started?

 


 

Awww yeah shower beer!

 
 

Okay, time to make my face look like another face!

 
 

*Performs girly sorcery*

 
 

What the hell am I gonna wear??

 
 

Why aren’t sweatpants acceptable for frat parties??

 
 

Why aren’t sweatpants acceptable for all life events?

 
 

WAIT!! Leggings are basically the Beyoncé of sweatpants!

 
 

VICTORY SCREECH!!

 
 

Now I’ll just grab a shirt that does shirt related things.

 
 

Dressed! Lets go pre game!

UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP, UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP

 

 

Are we gonna go soon? It’s already like 10:30 and I’m trying to be in bed by like 12:30

 

Sweet! Drivers here!

 


 

AND HES PLAYING MY JAM!

 
 

UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP, UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP!

 
 

Alright, I’m gonna go in, impress everyone with my funky fresh dance skills and then convince them that we should get T-Bell and go home. BREAK!

 
 

Okay this quit being fun like 45 minutes ago.

 
 

Why do some of these guys look like they’re 14….

 

 

Ladies, just because there is a stripper pole does not mean you should get on it, or even near it

 
 

How do floors get THIS sticky?!? Wait….I don’t wanna know. Not at all

 
 

Annnnnndd some guy just touched my butt. Nope. Nope. Nope.

 


 

Maybe if I just mention T-Bell they’ll go with it….

 
 

Works every time! Crunchwrap here I come!

 
 

*Hunts down driver like a boss*

 
 

UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP, UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP

 
 

That will literally never get old.

 
 

*Orders cheesy, T-Bell goodness for me AND THE DRIVER*

 
 

Finally home. Hello again sweatpants, I missed you

 
 

Too lazy to take off makeup, plus I have food to eat which is way more important than my skincare routine

 
 

Nom. Nom. Nom.

 
 

Zzz Zzz Zzz Zzz

 

 

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

Miami University
153276
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
music
Entertainment

Why Your Astrological Sign May Not Match Your Personality

We are all more than just one sign.

SUNY Plattsburgh
72130
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
astrology
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

UNC Greensboro
41458
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
spring
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

Sacred Heart University
103376
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
good person
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

Eastern Michigan University
36880
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.
Unsplash

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less
hygiene tips

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments