As long as I can remember, I have been a goal-setter. From a very young age, I was pushed and was driven to have a vision for my life – a five, ten, twenty-year plan. When I was about 13 or 14 I discovered a flight simulator game from 1996, and from that moment, I knew I wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to see the world. I began building a plan for how I was going to accomplish my goals and be the best pilot in the world. And then… everything changed.
Basically, God said no. Then, my life-compass stopped working. I battled Him and wrestled Him on what that meant for my life. Then, He told me quite simply that He was calling me to ministry. He still hasn’t defined that for me. All I know right now is that I am where I am, and that’s where I’m supposed to be.
For a goal-oriented person, that’s a hard verdict to face. God told me that the plan He had for me was better than mine, but He hasn’t exactly told me what that plan is yet. He told me to move away from home to a different state to help reach lost and unchurched people in a place I had never heard of a year ago. I’m doing that, and I haven’t once regretted it. But in two years’ time, I’m going to graduate with a bachelor’s degree, and then it gets a little fuzzy after that. It’s frustrating. Why won’t God just show me what I need to do and where I need to go? Why is He holding back? And the moment I ask those questions I have to step back and think, maybe that’s the point.
I have spent countless hours and sleepless nights thinking, praying, and hoping that God will show me where I need to be in five or ten years. But guess what, it isn’t five or ten years from now. It’s not 2020 or 2025. It’s 2016. It’s now. Maybe God is holding back to prove that He is the one in control – that it doesn’t really matter how much I try, I can’t make whatever He has planned happen, only He can. He has put me right where I’m at for His purposes. When five years from now gets here, He’ll show me what I need to do. In fact, I’m not guaranteed five or ten more years. I’m not even guaranteed tomorrow. So, who is it that I’m depending on? My own plans? My own strength? I hope not, because I have proven time and again that I am incapable of achieving anything on my own.
That is the point. Maybe you aren’t a goal-setter like me. But I can guarantee that you worry and think about what the future holds for you, even if that means your plans for next weekend. Take it from me, it’s so much better to think about who holds your future. He can and will take care of you if you trust Him. I can’t guarantee that it’s what you want, but you’ll be better off for it. It doesn’t get any easier not knowing, but the most urgent moment you’ll ever have is this moment. And just like that, it passes by.
