Godly Friendships

Godly Friendships

I am too valuable to have to forfeit who God created in order to forge friendships out of necessity.

I want true friendship — not just the titles and social media posts, but love-centered, Christ pleasing interactions with people who I genuinely care about and who genuinely care about me. I want to be able to hang out with someone without feeling out of place or inadequate. This feeling of inadequacy can be in terms of romantic interest or of social standing or of worldly gains. I am too valuable to have to forfeit who God created in order to forge friendships out of necessity. I am loved deeply by my Creator, my family and my church. That is enough.

When pursuing new friendships, I will pray fervently for the person. I will put both the interests of my heart and theirs at the forefront of any decisions made to get to know one another. If it is a boy, I will remember that he is being prepared for his wife by the same God who prepares me for my husband. I will trust His guidance and the discernment of my parents and mentors to guide my decisions. I will not make him uncomfortable or allow myself to be put in uncomfortable situations. I will strive to love like Christ — unconditionally, while also protecting my own heart. If it is a girl, I will treasure her for the person God has made. I will not judge based on appearance, background or any other worldly factors. I will cherish the time I spend with her in order to grow spiritually or to help her in her growth. If she isn't a believer or struggles with her faith, I will be patient and loving but protect my heart and soul from the lost tendencies in her heart. I will acknowledge that this sinful nature exists in me, but I will rejoice in and respect the amazing sacrifice given to rid my heart of darkness. I will love like Christ — unconditionally, while also protecting my own heart.

As a Godly friend, I will:
…be friendly to everyone.
…show grace to those still lost in sin.
…respect the decisions of parents, whether mine or theirs.
…reflect on my heart in a relationship.
…ask for feedback from mentors on my behavior, thoughts, etc.
…strive to please Jesus in every situation.
…be a light in a dark place.
…pray for those in my circles, whether I consider us close or not.
…love unconditionally while protecting my own heart.
…remember that the greatest friend is already enthralled with me and does everything for me to be His.

"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." - Colossians 3:12-14
Cover Image Credit: Shelby Cummins

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Poetry On The Odyssey: You Don't Control Me

If I could speak to my anxiety, here is what I'd say.



You have controlled my life for way too long.

My constant fears hold me back from so many things I want to be able to do.

Your presence makes me a person I don't want to be.

You make me feel scared and alone when I know that I am not alone.

You don't control me.

I am not free to be myself when you are around.

There is no use for you, and you should be ashamed for making me feel sick, nervous, fearful, not good enough.

You have been a little monster, harboring inside of me for my whole life.

Whispering "You can't do that" in my ear when I dare to get out of my comfort zone.

You don't control me.

I am fully capable of doing great things and living without you.

I have a wonderful support system of people who believe in me and help me crush you every day as you deserve.

I will be brave, be bold, enjoy life more.

This is me saying "Sayonara Anxiety."

You don't control me.

I am going to take my life back from your filthy grip.

I am going to live the life I've dreamt of.

I am going to be adventurous and take risks.

I am going to be myself.

You don't control me.

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