In a time when relatively everyone has access to social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, young people are more confused than ever as to what a friend truly is. Society’s definition of friendship is rapidly changing before our eyes. Many individuals are unintentionally being duped into agreeing with whatever version of “friendship” is popular at the time. This poses many challenges for Christians that are looking for companionship throughout their journey. However, scripture is really diligent in outlining what a good friendship looks like.

The first aspect of what Godly friendship should look like is the size of one’s friend group. While some individuals have twenty close friends, others may have only two. Although there is no scripture that specifies how many friends are too much or too little, a great example is to look back at how Jesus did things. Jesus recruited twelve willing participants to follow him and live as he did. Similarly to how a summer camp experience is for kids, so was following Jesus to those twelve men. Some kids may be nervous for the unknown events ahead while others are simply ready to jump in. But over time, they will all slowly build a bond that is unlike anything they have previously experienced. Now, don’t stretch the analogy too far, but one can see the similarities between the two. Interestingly enough, Jesus even had three favorite friends from those twelve (so don’t feel back if you gravitate toward two or three of your friends more than others). Contrary to the beliefs of Facebook, one person just wasn’t built to have hundreds or even thousands of friends.

The second aspect of what a godly friendship should look like is the way both parties interact. Obviously, friends build each other up and support each other through all the twist and turns of life, but a good godly friend will also sharpen those closest them (Proverbs 27:17). Friends who refuse to engage in fierce conversations are doing both parties an injustice. Maybe you would pose the excuse that you don’t want to hurt the other’s feelings, but not only are you underestimating your abilities to show compassion in handling difficult subjects but you’re short circuiting the other parties ability to truly growing in faith. Our main purpose in life is to be growing in our relationships and no plant, or person, will ever reach its full potential unless those around it nurture and prune it. However, there is one major caution sign before entering a life of fierce conversations. That caution is humility. Attacking someone on their sins will only create an environment of defense. Rather, humbly correct your mistakes so that when you address a friend, you understand the hardships connected with working through sin (Matthew 7:1-5).

These two aspects of friendship seem easy at a distance, but I challenge you to ask yourself: Are you live right by these two guidelines? Or you spread thin and not really making any true impact on any one friend?