Praying aloud made me nervous. When my youth leader said, "Okay who wants to pray us out?" I would immediately panic inside. Like, "holy cow please don't pick me." I think this was mostly because, I had not been a christian very long so I was a little insecure about the effectiveness of my prayers. What was I going to say? What if I said something stupid? These questions didn't just hit me every Wednesday night at youth church, but every time I prayed I worried I would say something dumb and God would just discard my prayer. My constant anxiety about praying made me a nervous, sweaty, mess. I just wanted God to hear me, but I didn't think my prayers were strong enough.
One night at youth church, my youth leader asked us what would be our spiritual goal for the summer. Everyone went around the room and they wanted to read the bible more or they wanted to go to church more. When it got to me I immediately knew what I wanted my goal to be. I wanted to pray aloud more. I explained my anxiety of praying aloud and how I was afraid what I was saying wasn't effective. My youth leader reminded me that God knows our hearts. Romans 8:26 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Basically, this just means that sometimes things can be so rough, that we just don't know what to pray for. Maybe we want to pray for someone, but we are unsure of what they need, the Holy Spirit will intercede and pray on our behalf. How great is that?
When church was over, my youth leader asked if I would pray. I freaked out, but did it anyway. I asked that everyone would hold hands. Holding hands just makes me feel like we're all connected. From every moment after that when I prayed, I made everyone hold hands.
The whole summer I practiced praying. When I was alone, I still prayed aloud. I asked God many, many times to strengthen my prayers and to give me what I needed to help others when I prayed. I wouldn't say praying got easier, but I definitely got more comfortable praying aloud. Later on in the summer a group of us went to Detroit, Michigan to do mission work. The first night we were there, we went to dinner. The Center for Student Missions (CSM) Leader asked someone to pray. No one said anything. Then God told me to pray. In a very shy voice I told everyone I would pray over our meal. The girl that sat next to me quickly grabbed my hand because she knew how I loved to hold hands when I prayed. My body felt lifted, and I prayed a small prayer and we went inside to eat. My youth leader grabs me and hugs me and said how proud of me she was. The girl who couldn't pray opened her heart and her mouth and nothing but God's words came out.
That week in Detroit my youth leader told me that she thought that my spiritual gift was prayer. From then on she called me a prayer warrior. Every time after I prayed aloud I thanked God that he had gave me this ability. He took something I was so uncomfortable doing and made it a skill of mine.
Last week my church had mission week. This is basically where we go into our community and do mission work. There was around 70 of us. One night, we wrote a sin on a piece of paper and my youth leader had us to burn it. After, a couple of people, myself included got into a circle and prayed about those sins. After, my youth leader brought us all in. She explained to everyone how insecure I had been about praying, but later God blessed with me the gift of prayer. I prayed aloud in front of 70 people that night. The Holy Spirit didn't come through me, it ran through me. God was so alive in me that night. I prayed in a small circle that night again but with different people. God just kept telling me to pray. So I listened. During mission week, we had little pockets people could stick encouraging notes in. Almost all of mine said something about how well I prayed and that they truly believed I was a prayer warrior. God is so good.. sometimes I can't fathom the kindness and love he has shown me.
I thank God every single day that he has blessed me with such a powerful gift. I hope with prayer I can lead others to him. God calls every single one of us to do something. Rather that's mission work in other countries, a beautiful singing voice so you can share the gospel, prayer, or many others. We must obey that call. Pray he reveals your calling, pray that you'll be obedient.
Jeremiah 29:12: "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
