Halloween is just around the corner, and during this time every year, I hear about others going costume shopping. Costume shopping is extremely fun, but there is one thing that makes me sad…or maybe just confused about my own beliefs: sexy Halloween costumes.
I grew up believing that sexy Halloween costumes for women were just sad. A lot of girls I know dress this way during the holiday just to attract men, and I don’t think that’s a healthy way to live.
However, I do know that there are tons of girls that wear these kinds of costumes just because it makes them feel good. Maybe they’ve lost a ton of weight and want to show it off. Maybe it makes them feel empowered. Maybe the sexy costume just made them feel awesome. And I can’t disagree with that… right?
Another thing that makes this topic even more confusing is the idea that modesty is thrust upon girls because of male sin. Tons of Christians preach that women should dress so that a man isn’t distracted or tempted to sin by lusting after her. This makes me extremely angry. If a guy dresses up as Magic Mike for Halloween, he’s probably not going to have a shirt on. If I look at his abs and think they’re rockin’, I’m lusting after him, but society and the Church doesn’t tell Mr. Tatum that my sin is his fault.
So maybe the answer in this whole modesty debate doesn’t come from society or the Church. Maybe it comes from what Jesus says.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
Here’s what I think we can get from these verses:
1. God wants women to feel beautiful!
The word “adorn” means “to make beautiful or attractive.” Paul doesn’t write that we shouldn’t want to feel beautiful, so if we think that feeling confident in what we wear or how we look is a sin, we’re doing it wrong. We should adorn ourselves. God wants us to love our bodies and the way we look.
2. It just matters what makes us feel beautiful.
When I first read this, I thought, “Oh crap. I braid my hair all the time. Grandma also gave me a set of pearls, and my prom dress cost a ton! I’m sinning.” Is that how God wants us to react? Does he really want us not to braid our hair or splurge a little on an outfit from time to time? I don’t really think so.
Instead, I think it’s important to focus on the word “adorn” again. God’s using these examples to show us how not to obtain self-worth. Our love for ourselves shouldn’t come from expensive clothing or the way we do our hair. Instead, our good works should make us feel beautiful. Dressing in respectable behavior is just one way to take away the focus from materialism and focus on helping others. It’s a way to keep your priorities in check.
3. Modestly is more about humility than sex.
Paul doesn’t mention sex or lust in these verses at all. Granted, people do mention it often in other places of the Bible, but here, Paul doesn’t focus on that. Instead, the verse explores materialism and how that can affect pride. Materialism increases our pride, and that is not good. God wants us to possess humility and do good works for others.
Now “humility” does not mean someone can’t feel beautiful. We’ve already talked about how God does want us to feel pretty and love ourselves. However, “humility” refers to our importance. We must put God and others before ourselves, and out of this comes love.
Therefore, think about the reasons you may be wearing a sexy Halloween costume this year. If you think you look great in a skin-tight outfit, I’m jealous of you. But do you feel beautiful without it? If not, maybe dig into the Word and find out how you can. Jesus adorns us in His love all life-long, not just on Halloween.
