Ever since I began to realize I wasn't attracted to guys in middle school, I have asked God time and time again why he would make me this way.
I've tried for years to resist and to "make myself straight," but have recognized that, down to my very DNA, I was not made to love a man.
When I came out, many turned their backs on me or otherwise pulled away in the name of God, some even telling me that I did not belong in His kingdom of heaven for who I was at my core. However, I truly believe that God made me gay for a reason -- and not just to send me to hell.
I have done a lot of researching and reading on both sides of this argument, and have of course been praying from the beginning to ask for guidance and answers. Recently, I came across a talk that examined homosexuality in an evolutionary aspect. As humans, our evolutionary function is to reproduce — same as any other species.
God wants us to populate the earth with His children, as well. If that is our purpose, then, why are people born gay?
Why are people born infertile, or otherwise unable to reproduce? Should a person be shunned if they are unable to have children since that is the purpose of existence? The speaker brought up an interesting answer to these questions: those individuals serve as nurturers to their families, and instead of focusing on producing more children, focus on familial relationships and caring for children.
This is not to say that reproducing peoples do not care for their children — it is to say that individuals who cannot reproduce are able to focus on cultivating and maintaining strong familial bonds. Additionally, many of the world's greatest people in every field were gay or bisexual — Oscar Wilde, Sally Ride, Alexander the Great, Michelangelo, Emily Dickinson, Tim Cook...the list goes on and on. Because these people were not focused on finding a suitable mate to reproduce, they were able to focus intensely in their respective fields and to become apex creators in a variety of disciplines.
As I have prayed over the past six years and asked God why He made me this way, I have realized my raison d'être — what His plan is for me.
I knew I would never be satisfied with a comfortable, family-focused life like many (though that is certainly a good goal for one's future). I was always meant to break down barriers and to make a change in the world, at whatever level possible, without concerning myself about finding a "nice man" to "settle down with."
Forgoing the worry of finding a husband has been incredibly liberating and has allowed me to shape my future around different goals, ones that involve changing the world and doing good for everyone I possibly can. At risk of sounding too headstrong, I admit that I am but one woman, and there is only so much I can accomplish. But I have my sights set very, very high.
And I know that my God, my eternal father, and creator, is looking down on me with a smile as he watches me work to make the world a better place.