It’s one of the most talked about “diet fads” taking over middle-aged women America. It seems like everyone is dropping the pasta to drop the pounds, and those on the outside looking in are laughing while they indulge in pizza, cake, and yes even white bread. The oft-discussed topic has sparked many a conversation and debate, with every health magazine offering a new opinion and Instagram promoting confidence in carbs with accounts like “Girls With Gluten.”

It seems like a black and white issue: if you have celiac you have a real excuse, if you have a gluten intolerance/sensitivity, you’re faking it.

But, are we? I’ve been gluten-free for three and a half years now and let me tell you something: Honey, if I could eat that fettuccine alfredo or giant chocolate chip cookie, I would. The difference between me and someone who’s going GF for to lose weight: I’ll feel like I’m being stabbed after eating gluten. Repeatedly. For hours. I’ll also get a nasty migraine, painful bloating, swollen fingers and other results we don’t need to discuss.

I have a colon. You have a colon. The difference? My colon hates gluten. And when Joan (my colon) sees gluten, she gets really mad. Like really mad. And she takes it out on me. Totally unfair, right? So I avoid gluten, because, like you hate fighting with your friends, I hate fighting with Joan.

Now, you ask, how did I learn Joan (and every other part of my body) hates gluten? Out of a Women’s Health magazine? No. A trendy fitness and diet blog? No. Miley Cyrus’s tweets? Nope. You see, I had a bunch of test runs. By a doctor. A real doctor! In fact, one of the top pediatric gastroenterologists in the country! And you want to know what she told me? That just like some people can’t eat dairy, fish, eggs, and soy, I can’t eat gluten/wheat. You know what that’s called? A medical diagnosis!

Yeah, then there are those who give the rest of us a bad rep. They simply cannot eat gluten because they need to fit into their prom dress or look good for swimsuit season. PSA: I did not lose weight dropping gluten! Crazy, right? Although, I did feel a heck of a lot better on the inside. But that’s me, and more than 3 million Americans BUT, maybe not you.

I’m not here advocating everyone go gluten-free. Someone has to keep Domino’s in business! If you want to go gluten-free to try to lose weight, be my guest. If you want to keep pounding the garlic bread and lasagna, I salute you. If you’re like me and want to cut out gluten so it doesn’t feel like Freddy Krueger lives in your stomach, then welcome aboard.

Should we judge people based on whether they get a bun on their burger or not? Probably not. Should we judge people based on their opinion of Tom Brady? Now that’s a different story. Mealtime should connect us, moments where laughter spills and memories are made. So whether you’re eating gluten-ful or gluten-free, let’s toast to food that brings people together, not apart.