I’ve never been the type of girl who needs a man in her life to make her happy. But I won’t lie and tell you that going through the break up with my high school boyfriend was simple because it was anything but easy. We dated for two years: my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. I truly loved him with all of my heart and I know that he loved me once too. While we were dating, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. We spent every possible moment we could together and we were so happy. Or so I thought.
The breakup hit me like a train. Quick and unforgiving, this train pushed me on the tracks, ran me over and kept on driving as if I was never even there. I was an awful, sad mess who only wanted to spend my time laying in bed and crying. Of course I was upset and felt betrayed but, most of all, I was furious; angry at the fact that he left me but even more angry that he had already found someone new. At this point, I was still too mad to be upset. So one day I jumped out of bed and simply decided that I was going to be okay. I wasn’t going to let him get the best of me. I was going to get through the pain and the hurt and work toward moving on and living my life without the love of my life.
Since the breakup, each day seemed to get easier. I realized I could do whatever I chose to do and there would be no repercussions. I wouldn’t have a boyfriend asking me questions like, “who was that guy you were just talking to?” for him to receive an answer like, “he’s my best friend since kindergarten, can you relax?!” I could go out with my friends any time I wanted and could talk to whomever I chose. I spent more time in the library and the gym than obsessing over the guy who broke my heart. Life was looking up. With every day that passed, the skies were becoming clearer and the sun was shining a little brighter.
I honestly thought that we would be together forever. Who would have known how much a person could grow while in college? I’ve matured greatly on my own and I’m so glad that I had this time in my life to be single. A lot of people think that being in a relationship is better than being alone, or that being alone means that you will never have a significant other. That is the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. I too, once thought that I’d be happier in a relationship, but nothing feels better than being on my own and choosing to live my life the way I want.
I guess I didn’t realize that my ex and me were just simply not good for each other. Sure, we had our fights here and there but other than the occasional quarrel, we seemed perfect together. But perfection is subjective, and we were objectively too opposite to be perfect for one another. Looking back at it now it’s obvious to see that our personalities simply didn’t mix together well. In the kitchen of romance, he was water and I was oil.
Yet here I am, almost a year post-breakup and I have never been happier with my life! I’m finally doing everything I’ve ever wanted to do. I go out with my friends whenever I want and I can talk to whomever I’d like. There is no guy breathing down my neck watching my every move like a hawk. I am finally free from someone I once believed was my soul mate. In a way, my ex is still the best thing to ever happen to me; I learned a lot from our relationship but I learned even more from our breakup. I don’t need him to make me happy.
As Taylor Swift sang, “Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street.” But I say, finally getting over him is like driving in your 2007 Nissan Altima, alone down a long open road in the middle of the night, singing along to your favorite song and smiling brighter than ever before because you know damn well that this is the happiest you’ve ever been.
