I have ALWAYS been the type of person who needed a definite plan and followed a schedule. While I admire this routine at times, I found myself incredibly overwhelmed when things didn't go to plan, and what was worse was it wasn't going exactly to my plan. I realized I was setting myself up for complete failure.
One particular instance, I decided that I was going to work even harder at work. I was becoming more intense because I decided it was time for my coworkers to respect me more, I felt nobody was taking me very seriously. So, I said to myself no more, I'm going to be a hardass on everyone and they can just deal. I felt the tenseness in the air as soon as I walked in the door. People were beginning to get anxious around me.
My boss pulled me aside and asked curiously if I was okay, that I hadn't been myself and that I needed to take some time off before I came back. I was convinced I was going to lose my job and all because I decided to sabotage my work ethic based on how I THOUGHT others were viewing me.
I did some serious soul searching and realized that not everything in my life is going to go exactly how I want it. For starters, how other people view me is none of my business, however, I learned that I have to be cordial in the workplace. After my week off, I came back and said I was just going to focus on what I could get done and not stress about all the minor details in between that normally drive me mad.
I found myself elated and not exhausted when I left work. I found that not focusing so much on the smallest of things and just doing my best and not making my work day harder than it already was, it wasn't such a bad place to work.
When drama talk occurred, I excluded myself. When my sibling or significant other wasn't doing what I saw was correct, I just let it go and focused on something I could do myself instead.
Throughout all of this, I learned that no matter how hard we try, we can't control other people or how they see us. I can control what I want to do, but let go what I knew I couldn't. Life has been insanely easier since I let go of what I genuinely couldn't change.
