I woke up this morning excited to have a relaxing and productive Saturday. I already had the perfect plan in mind. My perfect Saturday would start with a Starbucks run and catching up on Grey's Anatomy, next I would bake some Fall(ish) dessert to bring to a co-worker who has been sick, do my laundry, go get my nails done, reorganize my closet, and this evening meet up with my girlfriends for dinner. The truth is, my days rarely go as planned.

Instead, I woke up to a pile of dishes in the sink in which I didn't dirty, sticky floors, and the dryer full of my brothers dry clothes. My first reaction was to be angry, however, after a few sips of my white chocolate mocha, I formed a different perspective. Six months ago in this exact situation I called my brother and yelled at him for dirtying every dish in the kitchen and not cleaning up, I lectured him about taking his clothes out of the dryer once they are dry, and reminded him that I had JUST MOPPED THE FLOORS YESTERDAY. Then the next few days we didn't speak to one another. But today I didn't do that, and here's why.

Living with someone is hard, they will mess up, they will irritate you at times, they will be too messy, or forget to get their laundry out of the dryer, they will spill sweet tea on the floor and they will cook without cleaning up. But, a little grace will go a long way.

I've learned so much about being a great (future) wife by learning to be a great roommate. My brother isn't always messy, but when he is I know he deserves a little grace because I love him more than anyone in the world. After all, it's not like I've never been a little messy. I've learned that to be a good spouse you've got to be patient, understanding, kind, learn to compromise, serve the person that you love, and give grace at times. Just like being a good roommate, a part of learning to be a good spouse is understanding that things won't always be perfect, your spouse won't always make the right move, but instead of trying to even the score, try showing them love and grace instead.

My perfect Saturday was actually spent washing a mountain of dishes, folding my brothers laundry and re-mopping the floors, but, I feel better about this day because of it. I learned the hard way that being angry at my brother wasn't going to help the situation. Being angry never magically washed the dishes, took the trash out, or mopped the floors. When my brother came home from work he walked through the kitchen to his bedroom like he always does. He then walked into my room and gave me the biggest hug. He said, "Thank you so much for cleaning up the kitchen and doing my laundry. You're the best, and I'm going to do better about cleaning up after myself."

So my advice is to get some Starbucks coffee, and just do the dishes.

"Grace is the love that gives, that loves the unlovely and the unlovable."

Oswald C. Hoffmann

Love,

Paisley Cooper