Dear God,
It’s winter season.
With my hands in my pockets, I walk through the night. My nose is cold and my eyes grow watery as I try to avoid the heartbreaking wind. This is the season where I find difficult to keep myself warm, to find motivation even when the sun is hiding. I know I have to go home, but I am lost. I am lost and alone in the middle of the night. Solitude overwhelms me with anxiety and hope no longer finds a place in my heart.
God, I need you.
It’s been a stressful time where I can’t find consolation or advice from anybody because it seems everybody is in this same lonely place. A sleeping pill seems the easy way to cauterize all the pains from this dark world. But at the same time, it makes me feel out of control, as if I cannot control myself and I have to reach for a pill to escape.
I am not in control. I can’t control my thoughts, anxieties, loneliness, feelings, and nightmares. But I know You do. I know You can control my life, my thoughts, my anxieties, my loneliness, my feelings, and my nightmares. I believe that You can turn my life around and give me a new life. I believe You can keep my heart warm in this rough and cold season. I raise my hands knowing that with You, Lord, I don’t have anything to lose.
I give up my fears so You can fill me with Hope. I give up my dreams so that You can give me Yours. I give up my doubts so You can shine Your Light through me in this world full of darkness. I give up my plans and I trade them for Yours, so I can follow Your will. I give up the pills so You can fill me with Your songs through the night. I give up my despair so You can give me peace. I give up my life, so You can give me a new life with abundant joy.
Thank you, God, for speaking to me. You don’t have to come, but you always do, and You wait for me with lovingly open arms and eyes full of mercy.
Throughout this week I've heard stories of anxiety, insecurity, discouragement, and despair. While I am personally not in this state, I believe many of us can relate to these feelings. I wrote this article as a prayer in these circumstances that we all face.
