We have been pandering to stereotypes since time immemorial, it sometimes feels to me. Stereotypes and stereotypical traits that have been defined for men and women.
Pink, dolls, and everything delicate for women. Blue, action-figures, and everything tough for men. Those "lines" are blurring today as people are coming to terms with the fact that gender does not - and must not - define preferences, but we still have a long, long road to tread before this is a belief that is universal. Amidst all the intellectual debates that go on and on, though, there is one thing that always bothers me the most: the world's tendency to mock and laugh at every quintessential trait that can be called "girly", and admire every supposed "masculine" trait.
Confused? Don't be. Because all of us in this world have experienced a wide gamut of sexism, things that were oh-so-subtly commonplace in our upbringing that we never questioned it.
As a boy, have you ever been reprimanded for liking pink, or for chatting just a little while longer, or for crying? Flip the coin. How many of you girls have been proudly labeled "boys" for accomplishing something that's considered difficult?
You get the gist.
As we participate in the endless debate of gender equality, we often start a fight within the genders themselves - not understanding that patriarchy has been just as detrimental to men as it has been to women. Men have been told not to express themselves freely, for laughing too much is a "feminine" trait and that crying is a sign of weakness. As a result, most men cannot express themselves when they are emotionally moved - because they have been brought up to be proud of this tendency of not expressing their feelings.
Not only do we judge people's choices based on gender - labeling them frivolous or serious depending on the gender of the person who makes that choice - but we also make assumptions about actions based on gender.
Let me give you some everyday examples. When women talk in groups, it is considered gossiping; when men do the same, there is an automatic assumption that they must be having a serious discussion. However, there are three options, as far as the reality of the scenario is concerned: first, that the assumption is true; second, that the assumption is totally baseless; and third: that we should really mind our own business, sans judgment. The third is the best option, I feel.
I only have one question: WHY?
Why have we defined traits and choices as per gender, and why are we so determined on judging in case someone actually goes against those stereotypes? Why do we have to always see something associated with females as something frivolous or something which is not to be taken seriously? Why is it that when we see a woman losing a sports game, there are thousands of people who, instead of discussing the play techniques that may have gone wrong, say that it happened because of their interest in selfies or makeup or how they dress?
WHY?
I will not conclude this piece by saying anything positive, that let's resolve it. Because I am worried. I see women and men of even my generation enforcing these standards on their peers and passing them down to their children - and I am worried that I may do the same with my kids in the future. So instead of asking you to talk about patriarchy, I implore you to introspect, to find a solution to this rarely asked question: how do we get rid of this mentality? How do we respect each other's actions and choices without judging them based on our own gender biases?
