For All The Guys I've Written Articles About, This One's For You

For All The Guys I've Written Articles About, This One's For You

I want you to know that my intention was not to hurt you, but rather to show you that you can’t just go around messing with people’s hearts like that.
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If you’ve read any of my articles before, then there’s a good chance the thought of me being a relationship guru has crossed your mind.

I’ve even been dubbed the ‘Taylor Swift’ of Odyssey articles, and while this seemed badass at first, that’s not who I want to be anymore.

Sure, writing articles exposing the things guys have done to you and your friends sounds about as messy as the pizza Julia Roberts ate at L’Antica Pizzeria Da Michele in ‘Eat Pray Love,’ but I chose to do it anyway. Every time I wrote one of these so-called pieces, I knew there was a possibility the guy might read it, but I ignored the initial fear and published it anyway.

And I just kept on doing it.

Granted, I never name-dropped any of these guys, and the reason I wrote these articles was because I didn’t want the same thing that had happened to me to happen to another girl. Of course, there was also that feeling of sweet revenge, but it’s only normal when your heart has been messed with so many times.

Another thing you have to understand is the pressure I was under.

When your articles go viral, suddenly everyone at Odyssey knows who you are, and you feel like your next article has to be better than the last one. This wasn’t always a bad thing, I certainly put out some great pieces and my editors were nothing but supportive, but at the same time, there were some weeks where my heart just wasn’t 100% into it.

I knew I had to put out great content, and for the sake of this, I remember when I took one particular experience and turned it into a piece that left my friends in shock. The article was inspired by a series of events at a party one night, and I decided to exaggerate some of the things that had happened, mostly because I thought it’d be hilarious. I can solemnly say that my intentions were not to hurt anyone, but rather to close the chapter on a love story I just knew was never going to happen.

If you choose to put any of your personal life out there online, just be prepared for the consequences.

I’ve been confronted by guys within 24 hours of an article being published, and for that, all I can say is ladies, stand your ground and don’t let anyone walk all over you. You know exactly why you wrote that article and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself for it.

Keeping that in mind, I will also say that you should never publish something that you don’t feel comfortable sharing.

When experiences are fresh in your mind, it is tempting to put that person on full blast and share everything. I don’t regret publishing any of my articles because they were like therapy for me, and I learned a lot about myself in the process, but just remember it’s completely your choice.

I learned about what I wanted and what I didn’t want out of love. I spent so much of my college career worrying about guys that didn’t even matter and that just isn’t the type of woman I am anymore. I’m done looking for love, as I’ve been told you’ll always find it when you’re least expecting it.

For all the guys I’ve written articles about, I want you to know that my intention was not to hurt you, but rather to show you that you can’t just go around messing with people’s hearts like that.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find someone who speaks your language so you don’t have to spend a lifetime translating your spirit. I never understood your language, anyway.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram | Katy Bellotte

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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To The Ex Who Won’t Move On, It’s Time To Let Go

Moving on is hard, but it’s time for you to realize I’m gone.

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It's been a year. It's been 365 days since I left you. I was ready for a change. Our relationship was unhealthy and very toxic. We argued constantly. You were very controlling, and it was time to end it. You knew you were the issue in the relationship and you knew what needed to be fixed.

You couldn't change.

After figuring out I couldn't live the rest of my life unhappy, I left. It was hard no doubt. We had good memories, but the bad outweighed the good. You never appreciated me. You weren't loyal to me and I never understand why. You always made me feel as if I was never enough.

I finally left you. You couldn't accept the fact that I was done. I told you I discovered my self-worth and you were angry. You didn't want to see me go. You called and texted me for weeks.

I ignored you.

You were so mad because I was finally done. You had convinced yourself that I would come back but little did you know, I wouldn't. You called and texted daily. You even called my job. You didn't understand. I could no longer listen to ongoing insults and constant accusations. I had enough of it.

When I didn't respond to your calls and texts, you began using text apps and calling me from restricted. You wouldn't stop. When you found out I moved on, it got worse. I begged you to stop and you wouldn't. I finally stopped responding. You still continue to try to contact me.

I need you to move on. I want to put everything behind us. I want you to go out and find someone to make you happy. I need you to realize you and I are over. I want you to move on like I did. I am happy now and I don't need you ruining that. To my ex who is struggling to move on, it's time to let go and move on.

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