“I need him.”
These three words didn’t escape my friend’s mouth, but her sobs and shallowed breaths screamed desperation for the guy who had left her heartbroken.
A worn out story, perhaps, and one I’ve seen all too often.
She let him in and he became her world, her version of perfection, and when he left, a part of her did, too. This arduous process of losing love, followed by periods of immense emotional instability, and eventual repair of self, is never easy to watch. To see her in pain, falling apart over some guy, has always been hard to wrap my head around.
After reflecting upon their experiences – the girls who had a piece of their hearts stolen – I understand their pain, but also know they fail to understand the magnitude of their worth.
The thought of being in love and enjoying all the wonderful perks of a relationship is exciting, and something most people look forward to experiencing. When you finally find that one person who brings you happiness you never knew existed, who changes your world for the better (at least initially), and whom you think about nearly every second of the day, you never want to lose what you both share. You make memories – you go to the movies, spend time with his family, compete to see who has the ugliest Snapchat screenshots, talk until 4 a.m., and have legitimate Netflix dates where you force him to watch "Grey's Anatomy" or "One Tree HIll" – and in these moments, you fall even more in love. Sure, you have your fights here and there, but they are never enough to break your relationship.
Or so you thought. Out of nowhere, you find yourself like my friend – sitting there in tears and feeling a whirlwind of conflicting emotions because you cannot seem to understand how you let him get the best of you. You analyze every little thing you could have done better, fooling yourself into thinking that if only you did this or that differently, you would still be together. But having this mindset, where you constantly blame yourself and feel you need him to be happy, is more damaging than the breakup itself.
ToWhen you blame yourself, you are failing to recognize your true worth. Before he entered your life, you were an incredible person, and even though he has left, your worth isn’t diminished. He doesn’t define your worth, or you for that matter.
So, do yourself a favor – remember your strengths and all of the remarkable qualities you possess. Lean on the people in your life who love you unconditionally, who will do anything to secure your happiness, and who will always find the best possible version of you. Realize that love should never be toxic or force you to change who you are. Eventually, you’ll determine what you deserve and discover that your worth is much greater than you ever imagined – and in that moment, you’ll realize the only person you’ll ever truly need is yourself.
