I've heard it and rolled my eyes a thousand times. The incessant quip that if I had a boyfriend I would understand.
It's one simple phrase holding the idea that if I had a boyfriend I would be more knowledgeable and more of something than I am without one. As if I couldn't possibly understand the world around me using just one brain - my own. As if I'm less of a person.
You've either said it to someone, or were the person on the receiving end. And, when you think about it, it's ridiculous really.
You really mean to tell me that because I don't have a boyfriend I am less intelligent than you? Less knowledgeable? Because I'm not. And girls everywhere are tired of hearing that they are.
It's a line of defense. You use it when someone is judging you, or your boyfriend or your relationship. It shows what you think is okay and what you don't. But mostly it shows that you feel the need to defend it. You feel the need to tell someone else that they just don't understand, rather than addressing the real problem in your life.
On the other side, we're impartial. We're not a part of it. We see it black and white. It seems simple to us what you should do in certain situations because of that reason alone - because it's not a part of our past, present, or possible future.
For us, it's crystal clear. If your boyfriend treats you badly, you shouldn't be together. If you don't trust your boyfriend, or if he doesn't trust you, you shouldn't be together. If you fight all the time, you shouldn't be together. And me, having a boyfriend and "understanding" (whatever that even means) isn't going to change that because you still probably shouldn't be together. Do you get what I'm saying?
Having a boyfriend doesn't completely alter someone's perspective. Yes, it can alter decision-making and thought processes, but at the end of the day my lifelong grown thoughts and opinions aren't going to change just because of a boy. If someone else told you to jump off of a bridge would you do it? I don't think so.
I can't count the number of times I've heard it from over-protective, clingy girlfriends. Apparently, if I did have a boyfriend, I wouldn't want him to go out with his friends. I wouldn't want him to be around any other girls. I wouldn't this or I wouldn't that.
The way I see it, he can go out with his friends, have a beer, and I'll see him tomorrow. Yes, it really is that simple. And, if it's not, it's not my problem because 'I don't have a boyfriend' - it's yours.
