You gazed at him slowly, looking at his brown eyes. He started leaning towards you, tilted his head and kissed you. Those eyes of yours cannot lie, they were wide open as you both were kissing. You knew you don’t want to be there in the first place. You settle for that adequate, "OK" guy.
Other times, you fell in love with this guy. Your eyes fixate to his lips whenever he smiles. You can’t sleep at night because you can't wait to see him the next day at school. However, every time you are with him, your stomach hurts. Not as if it is full of butterflies, but, rather, this heavy feeling that someone is going to hurt you.
Or you are at a party, you knew that one guy was a football player. He was a suave looking guy, he smiled and flirted with you. You giggled and blushed a little. You thought that you are just a piece of shit. You started asking yourself, “What? How? Why me?” You both decided to ditch the party so you could be alone. He kissed you in front of his apartment and asked you to come in. You knew where this is going. You know you don't want to send the wrong message to him.
You feel hesitant; you want a real relationship, not just a casual hookup. But you still say "yes."
You felt horrible about your decision. Self-love has come into play. When you love yourself, you would not want to settle for less. You don’t compromise your happiness. You don’t accept the things that are less than you deserve. You will carry that belief of yours, “Oh, I want a real, meaningful relationship” and you are going to be persistent about it.
You have to carry your authentic self because that is the only way to show people how much you love and respect yourself.
They might be the perfect guy for other people, but not you. I know you have a strong urge to impress and be liked by people, but thinking about it, aren’t you the only person who can make yourself truly happy?
Carry your authentic self wherever you are. Know your boundaries. Forgive yourself for the experience where you found yourself accepting less than you deserve. You can learn and grow from that past experiences. You are still figuring yourself out.
The most important thing is to never compromise.
"Over the next few years when you step into adulthood, you decide who you are. While you are having experiences and exploring things, please pay close attention to who you are and your comfort level. Remember, the girl decides. The girl always decides.” - Lisa Kudrow
