They say to treasure your college years because before you know it, it'll all be gone within a blink of an eye and you'll be crossing that stage to receive your diploma. And boy, were they right. College has some of the best and worst moments of your life. For the first time in your life, you are on your own, making decisions without anyone there to tell you what is right and what is wrong. You are the one that controls your destiny and what will happen in the future.
As I head into my junior year of college, I often think back to my very first year away at school. I was an outspoken, vibrant, curly-haired freshman who packed two cars worth of belongings to move 300 miles away from home to go away to college. Moving away and choosing to live in the dorms was the best decision I ever made. It made me stronger, more reliant, and independent on myself. I had to learn how to make smart and informed decisions and watch out for mine, as well as others', best interests.
Every day, I pass the dorm I once occupied my freshman year. I think of my seven roommates who I had never met before and how we helped one another grow into the strong women we are today. I also think of the eight new freshman living in that dorm and hope that they are experiencing the magic I once experienced in there. I learned so many valuable lessons my freshman year and I often think of the future occupants of my dorm room.
So, to the girls who will live in that dorm, know that --
There'll be good days and bad days.
Some days you'll wake up on top of the world. You'll be in and out of everyone's rooms just wanting to spend time with your roommates. Other days, you'll want to be completely alone, and that's fine. Set some boundaries with your roommates and let them know when you're having a bad day and need some alone time. Everyone is human and we all just need some time away from others.
The best friend phase will wear off.
The first two or three months in your new home away from home will be blissful and enigmatic. You will want to spend every waking moment with all your roommates. You'll want to go to the cafeteria, mall, and off-campus parties together. You'll want your new friends to be their friends, but don't worry if that goes away one day. Everything isn't peaches and cream. You'll want to rip each others throats off. You'll fight for the bathroom, argue over petty drama, and maybe even cry. All in all, it'll make each and every one of you a stronger person.
The best way to solve problems is to face them head on.
Coming from a person who once had a problem with conflict and would often resort to passive-aggressive tendencies, the only way to actually fix something is to address it. If your roommate's boyfriend is over too much and you feel uncomfortable, let them know. If someone eats your food out of the refrigerator, confront your roommates. Even if the slightest thing bothers you, LET THEM KNOW. You can confront one another without being rude and condescending. You can lay out guidelines and rules of thumb so every person living in that dorm feels comfortable. Don't wait for everything to boil over and resort to getting your RA involved.
Bonds form when you spend quality time together.
If there had to be a memorable moment from my time in my freshman year dorm, it would have to be all the time we spent together. From playing board games to drinking games, watching the Super Bowl, and "Elf" around Christmas time, these are beyond some of my favorite memories. One of my favorite memories would have to have been when seven out of my eight roommates went to a tattoo shop to support three of our roommates who wanted new ink. It was an informal way for basic strangers to get to a know a little more about the people we'd be spending the next nine months with.
You all are unique and that's OK.
Everyone has their own backstory, along with their different talents and hobbies. My best advice would be to get to know each other and what they enjoy. Three of my roommates were sets of fraternal twins, and none of their siblings went to our university. One of my roommates was into Batman. Two were insanely talented artists. Four of them started out as nursing majors, and two of them were from the same town but went to two different high schools. One got involved in a sorority and I got involved with the Odyssey. Take time to appreciate the different quirks of one another and maybe along the road, you'll learn that you share more things in common than you initially thought.
To my freshman year roommates, thank you for everything. Our year in that dorm may have been a crazy and eventful year, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Each and every one of you helped me grow into the woman I am today. To the girls (or boys) who will live in that dorm, know that you'll make your own lasting memories in that room. Life can get hectic, but you'll always have your roommates there to take care of and support you.
