A few weeks ago I watched the Netflix film "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" and it has still been on my mind. The premise of the film is a girl writes letters to all the boys she has ever loved and keeps them in a box. When the letters are mailed out she has to start a fake relationship with one of the boys she liked in order to hide her true feelings from someone else. While this movie may seem a little sappy and like most teen love movies it made me think. My whole life I have never really known what love is or who I have truly been in love with. Have you ever thought someone is so amazing and when your friend points out one thing that is all you can think about? I felt I haven't been in love but have been in love with the idea of something. However, there are a few girls I have loved and I feel I owe it to them for making me the man I am today.

Dear all my past crushes,

There are so many crushes throughout my life that I have lost track but each of you plays an important role in my life. Everyone has been rejected or friend zoned and I feel I can state how that event has helped me look ahead. There are so many girls I have liked who I still am friends with and staying friends with them were one of the hardest things. At times I felt the guy you were dating didn't deserve you but I had to sit back and make my own life. No matter when I liked you or for how long you taught me that not everybody is worth your time and love can't be forced.

When I was in high school I thought I had a crush on a girl but after a while, I had to realize I was only crushing on the idea of her. The more time I spent with her the more I realized she wasn't for me and I had to move on. In college, there are so many girls I have thought I loved but realized love is something that is mutual. No this is not an article saying I am looking for a girlfriend but a way to tell other people that you know when you fall in love.

In high school, I lacked confidence at times and thought I wasn't made for anyone. Dating is trial and error and while being rejected can sting it can set you up for that magic moment. When I got to college I was convinced that one girl was the one for me but it took my family and friends to make me realize that might not have been the case.

Crushes come and go and to be honest I don't remember most of my crushes. I thought I might have been in love with you but maybe I was just in love with the idea that I could be with someone.