A few nights ago, my friends and I were discussing boys (duh! what else?) and my roomie mentioned that she "likes boys with problems." We all laughed at the idea, but later that night I got to thinking—and is it possible that this our problem?
Do girls look for the boys that they can fix?
Let's be real, many girls are confused about what they really want. Do you want a bad boy or a nice guy? The bad boys are hot, sexy, mysterious, risky; one shared glance and your panties are on the floor. While the good guys are wholesome, treat women correctly, and have their lives together—this is the man you want to end up with, but can you fall deeply and passionately in love?
Unfortunately, bad boys who treat women right are hard to come by. Many fuckboys are actually really kind, but, girl, just like you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, a fuckboy is not a father.
Yet, women still gravitate towards the bad boys, the fuckboys, the guys with problems, whatever you want to call them in hopes of "fixing" them. This project is something to work on: transform a bad boy into the perfect boyfriend.
I will admit that I have tried to change someone in the hopes that we could make our relationship work. Us girls have a list of characteristics we want in our dream man, and we feel like we can take any guy and shape them into this idealized Prince Charming.
"The problem is women think he will change, he won't. And men think she will never leave, she will." (Anonymous)
But, why don't we want the guys that already have many positive characteristics? Why are these "nice guys" friend-zoned? I mean, come on, why do girls keep running into walls and being left with bumps and bruises? Sometimes it's just a lack of connection, but maybe us gals should begin to change our mindset a little. Let's open our eyes and minds - the nice guys have got what we yearn for and need in a relationship!
Just because they aren't fuckboys doesn't mean we can't be attracted to the nice guys who open doors for us, bring us flowers, and love us endlessly.
We don't have to change them! Isn't that appealing, too? Our complex "girl-minds" love to take people and help them—fix them—but it's not our place to do that! People change on their own! To find our perfect man, we have to let this power go, and let the man with essential qualities come and adore us.
One thing is for sure, I'm done running after the bad boys.
If a man doesn't support me, I'm not going to tell him to or teach him the right way to love me. No, instead, I'm going to leave him. I have no time for any more projects.