To the girl who wrote, " If You Said 'Yes', Surprise, It's Not Rape,"
I only clicked because I was hoping such a provoking title would follow through with similar content. What I got, was triggered. What I read was a blatant, ignorant disregard for women who have suffered sexual assault. You said yourself that rape is not "black and white," yet that is exactly what you made it out to be.
And honey, you should be ashamed of yourself.
"Surprise, it's not rape"? More like
“Use that two letter word that everyone has put so much stress on."
Are you kidding me?
Whether or not you meant it to, this sentence alone is patronizing and belittling to the idea of consent.
You are perpetuating rape culture, do you realize that? Lack of consent isn’t just saying “no."
Sexual relationships rely mostly on implicit consent. Assumptions like “if the person is kissing back, then they must be consenting to kissing." Very few sexual situations stop at every advancement and ask for permission. I commend those who have the ability to do so. However, most don’t work that way.
Not saying “no” is not as simple as saying “yes."
If a person were completely sober, not under any pressure, and consented completely to every single sexual act, that is, by all means, consensual sex. But if someone felt violated by any sexual acts that occurred even if they didn’t explicitly say no, that is rape.
If they were too intoxicated to have proper judgment and felt that they were violated, that is rape too.
Rape is not as easy as the definition you found on the internet. If a person feels like they were violated sexually, you have no right to condemn them because it doesn’t fit your definition. Surprise! You don’t know what is going on in someone's head.
You don't know the weight or the sickening regret of wishing that you had been able to say no.
Other women are our greatest allies when it comes to facing any type of sexual assault. We cry on our sister's shoulders and confide in them our deepest secrets. Knowing that there are condescending, ill-informed women like you who feel the need to tear their sisters down in their darkest times absolutely sickens me. If I was blindly shown this article, I would assume that it was written by a “men-inist” or someone equally small-minded and ignorant.
It's that bad. The English language could very eloquently describe how I feel about your article, however, eloquence isn’t my strong suit.
I’m fu**ing pissed.
You obviously are not a survivor, and probably don’t know one either. You would never tear other women down in this way if you were also a victim, or knew someone who was.
While your heart only goes out to the “true survivors,” my heart goes out to every single woman who has ever felt like they very sexually violated. It goes out to every woman who posted #metoo, regardless of whether it was “true rape.” My heart goes out to every woman who has felt like they were the victim of a rape, regardless of if it meets your half-assed Wikipedia definition.
It is not up to you to decide how a person is affected by a sexual encounter, and honestly, shame on you for ever thinking you had the right to belittle survivors in this way.
