I’m 20, I Settled Down, I Have My Own Place. Get Over It

I’m 20, I Settled Down, I Have My Own Place. Get Over It

From bills and renovations, to learning about your partner and cleaning (always), it's an adventure for sure.
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So, recently my boyfriend and I moved into/bought our first home. Boy, has it been a learning experience. From realizing how much "stuff" you have to have to make a house run, to learning the ins-and-outs of bills, we have had our hands full. However, moving into our first home has also been very exciting. Just thought I'd share some of our experience, and hopefully, all you new homeowners and young couples can relate.

Bills. Good gracious, there are a lot of bills. So many different due dates too. Why can't everything be due on the same day? And on top of that, each and every place is so particular on how you have to pay them. Some online, some mail in, some over the phone, etc. It's quite overwhelming going from a couple to a ton. Props to parents, I understand why you were so stressed all the time, I feel ya.

This one is for all you young couples. You never truly know someone until you live with them. Sure, my boyfriend and I stayed together a bunch at each other's houses, but I never truly understood how it would be to live with him. For starters, men are helpless. Sorry guys, I'm sure that's not the case with you all, but my boyfriend, brother, and dad all follow this. He has no idea how to wash clothes, load a dishwasher, or clean. I mean, I'm feeling a bit like the old south here doing all the household duties. However, I do have it good because boy does my man know how to cook! Since I pretty much suck, for lack of better words, in that department, it is nice to have someone who knows what he's doing help out.

Who knew there was so much to clean? I mean, I always thought it was annoying having to keep my room clean growing up, and then also occasionally the bathroom I shared with my brother. But a whole house? It's a full-time job in itself.

Groceries. Why is food so expensive? Where my boyfriend and I moved to is in the middle of the country, a good ways from town. So McDonald's is not the best option. Therefore, we have had to buy groceries and cook, but oh my the expense of food is ridiculous. Even trying to get what we could at Dollar General is crazy. Again, props to the parents on paying for my high metabolism all my life.

Even with all these annoying things, this experience has been exciting. We can't stop talking about all the improvements we want to make, the additions we want in the future, planting a garden in the spring, etc. It is so nice to have the freedom to do what you want to do with your own property and home. Decorating has also been a perk on my end, since we bought a little farmhouse and I am obsessed with paintings of cows. And my boyfriend has enjoyed our several acres of land, exploring and just being a guy. Ya know, cold beer, gun, and four wheeler. Yes, we live in Alabama.

All in all, it has been an experience, and I'm sure there is much much more to come. Good luck to all you fellow young couples and first-time buyers, and just know, I feel ya.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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Why My Ex And I Would Have Never Worked

A comprehensive explanation.

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For those of you who normal keep up with my life, or have read about my boyfriend and I, I just want to make it clear that I am not talking about him. Rather, I'm talking about my ex from a while ago. It wasn't a relationship that broke my heart and it wasn't something that I had around just for shits and giggles. The relationship was real and it started like any relationship that shouldn't be happening. It with a kiss in a car, a very sad looking car. That should have been my first indicator but I was in crush mode so what did I know? It was alright, the relationship was good-ish (second indicator- still in crush mode).

My ex (who will remain nameless) was a great person and always wanted to do things for me. Get me food when I might need it, Sheetz coffee when I wanted it and all the music suggestions I desired. And then I noticed the trends; I was short-tempered more often when I was around him, I was making excuses for him, I was going back to my old and bad eating habits, my self control was weakening, and I was getting more and more depressed. We shared all of those things in common and I realized that I was feeding myself off of his negativity and he fed off of mine. So I called for us to work on it. And for a time, we did. But things seemed to revert back to the negativity and the bad habits. My anger issues were bursting at the seems and I happened to be getting more and more frustrated with everything. The way coffee smelled irritated me and anyone who knows me knows I love coffee. Something was going terribly wrong.

The day I won't forget is when he happened to do something very wrong in a situation that I had to admit was out of line. And yet again, I was still making excuses and trying to make things better for him but I was out of ways to get him out of trouble and I had to give up trying to save him. Then a separate incident occurred and I couldn't get him out of trouble again. I had to be done trying to make it work when we were each others' problem. We had been feeding each other the same negativity that had been looping through us for the time we were together. We were never going to work because we were never going to change without motivation and example enough to do so.

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