At this point in your life you've probably been on your fair share of dates and have also had your fair share of relationships. Some of your relationships may have ended on a positive note, while others may not. Perhaps some of your relationships left you heartbroken to the point where you are nearly inconsolable. Or, maybe you've never actually been in an actual "relationship" at all. That's not uncommon. Whatever the case may be, you're starting to think that you'll never find Mr. Right, or that he may not even exist at all. In short, you're beginning to think that you'll never find love. As a guy who holds largely traditional and old-fashioned beliefs, you've got it all wrong. No, you're not going to find love.
Love will find you.
Let that sink in for a minute. Love will find you. What does this mean you ask?
As a guy, I feel as if I can offer you a unique and special perspective that many of my female counterparts simply can't. That said, I have nearly 22 years of experience dealing with guys, and I can assure you that there is a whole lot of activity going on over here in "man camp."
I had mentioned earlier that I hold largely traditional and old-fashioned beliefs, and allow me to explain what I mean by that in regard to finding love.
I'm a firm believer that in any relationship, it ought to be the guy who takes initiative. The guy ought to have a sense of the leadership it takes to lay the foundation for a strong and successful relationship. Men have a certain responsibility to be a leader and that often entails spending a great deal of time preparing to be one.
Love hasn't found you because love isn't ready to find you.
To explain, allow me to grant access into how things work over here in "man camp."
A guy sees a girl who he thinks is pretty or who he thinks has a nice personality. The first thing he'll do is spend a few days or weeks just watching her, and thinking about how great she is. After a while, a guy will tell his buddies that he found this girl who seems pretty great, and they'll tell him that he should go talk to her.
Whoa whoa whoa. Go talk to her? No way, man.
Unfortunately, this is once of the most common places and reasons why love hasn't found you. Despite what they may show on the outside, even the most confident of guys are in part very timid creatures.
Perhaps a guy has come up and starting talking to you, things go well, he asks for your number, and then you text for a while. You continue "talking" pretty regularly, but then things suddenly reach a standstill. He no longer texts you as much as he did, he responds late, or maybe not even at all.
Unfortunately, this is a process known as ghosting, something you may be all too familiar with. The reason some guys do this is because they simply have no idea what they want. They don't know if they want a serious relationship, or if they want something that's "just for fun." Instead of being upfront and honest and telling you what they really feel or that they're simply not interested, a lot of guys will take the easy way out by leaving you out in the blue. As a guy speaking on behalf of my fellow men, I can assure you that we are fully aware of when we "ghost" a girl. Some of us are more proud of doing it then others, but it is very much a real thing.
To put it simply, a lot of guys are timid in when it comes to approaching a girl, and many of us have absolutely no idea what we want in a relationship. Part of this is because so many guys are obsessed with getting a girl's number that once they finally do, they have no clue what to do next. Gathering the courage to go talk to a girl is such a huge deal that we fellas often times do not think about what to do next should things actually go well. Have you ever wondered why some guys are so flaky? You've just been given a significant part of that answer.
Us guys, well, we know we're not perfect. We know that we lack courage, confidence, patience, and deep down know that we are not yet the finished product. In other words, guys wake up every day striving to overcome the personal demons that they are fighting on the inside. Some guys have had a rough upbringing and perhaps there's a reason why they don't do well around women, and some guys may be filled with the constant self-doubt that comes with growing up without a father. Guys are sometimes so engaged in battles with their personal demons that they don't have the time or ability to recognize you, or what is right in front of them.
Yeah, some guys are straight up assholes, jerks, and quite frankly will never have anything close to a serious relationship with someone. Some guys just aren't cut out for it. But the good ones, the good guys, they're constantly at work trying to prepare themselves to be the best man they can be when they're finally ready to meet you.
If you think that there aren't any good guys left out there, I can assure you that you are wrong. If you think that there aren't any single good guys left out there, I can most certainly assure you that you are wrong. I personally know several men who have had the runaround with relationships, and who are filled with just as much doubt and discouragement as you are at this moment in time. These men are all good guys and I'd trust each and every one of them with my life, and I can once again assure you that they are not wasting a minute trying to find you.
I had said earlier that you won't find love because love will find you, and it's true. Somewhere out there is a good guy who is struggling; he is fighting personal demons, and he is constantly working on self-improvement. I can assure you, as I have throughout this whole article, that the time will come when he is ready for you. He will have his personal demons under control, and he will have his rough edges smoothed out.
And when that day comes, you will have found love, because love has found you.
