You look in the mirror, and what do you see?

You see that your nose is too big. Your eyes are too far apart. Your face is broken out. You are not the same size as that Victoria’s Secret model on TV. Your hair has too many dead ends. You have scars, stretch marks, freckles you aren’t proud of. It hurts you to look in the mirror, and you are afraid of what people think.

Well let me tell you something. There are some things that that mirror doesn’t show you. It doesn’t show that 4.0 GPA you got last semester. That job you just landed. The degree you just graduated with. Does it show you that personal goal that you just met? Your kindness? Your big heart? How about your love of, just about everything? Your strengths? The friends that put a smile on your face or the loving family that supports you no matter what? And you can’t forget about the pet that faithfully stays by your side wherever you go. All of those little things that you push aside because of your obsession with physical features.

In today’s society, we set these ridiculous expectations for women – you have to be a size zero, your eyebrows have to be “on fleek,” you have to have perfect teeth, etc. It’s things like this that discourage women when instead we should be inspiring them to be proud of more than just their physical appearance. It’s a shame because there are so many women in the world who are beautiful and successful and perfect in their own way, but don’t even realize it because they don’t conform to society’s expectations. So we create a generation of anxiety-stricken, self-conscious, and reserved girls who try to extend their love to others, but they can’t even love themselves.

But I want to share something with all of you. I’ve been told time and time again that in order to love others properly, I need to learn to love myself first. I didn’t listen. And then I find myself one night crying over a boy who doesn’t love me back and I start to blame it on my appearance. But then I realized something. I drug myself out of bed and sat myself in front of the mirror. And while at first I cried at the reflection, I started to notice the things that I loved about myself. My blue eyes, my eyelashes, even the little freckle on my nose. And I started to fall in love with myself. I learned I was more important than what I saw. Just as you are.

You are intelligent You are kind. You have the biggest heart, the best secrets. You are kind to others even if they are not kind to you. You have the strength to walk away. You always do the right thing. You find inspiration and happiness in the smallest of things. You’re a quick thinker. You’re competitive. You have qualities that I consider beautiful, all within yourself.

So I want you to try something. Sit yourself in front of the mirror and rather than focus on what you hate about yourself, change your thought process. Look at those split ends as all of those pinterest-inspired hairstyles you rocked, or maybe tried to rock, during high school. Look at those eyes as witnesses to the beautiful things in life. Look at those scars as a lesson learned, or the strength you had to overcome a tough time in life. And then dig deeper. Think about your dream job and all of the hard work that has brought you to this point. Think of those great adventures you have shared with your friends and how it made you appreciate life so much more. Think about the people who make life worth living, and please love yourself. You are so much more than that reflection and it’s about time that the world sees that you.