Ever since I was a little girl, marriage has never been something on my mind. I've never dreamed of what my wedding would look like, nor have I ever dreamed about my dress, colors, flowers, ect.

When I was little, my mom asked me what I wanted my wedding colors to be, and I responded with "clear." To this day I get teased about it because she thinks of the wedding party covered in plastic wrap or something like that, but that's not the case. I meant it was clear because there wasn't going to be a wedding.

Years later, I still don't talk about marriage, and it still isn't on my mind. I still don't have a "perfect wedding" imagined, and I don't think I ever will. While I don't have an idea as to what I want my wedding to look like, I would like to get married one day. Just not anytime soon.

When my boyfriend brings up getting engaged or married one day, I usually change the subject or just tell him I don't want to talk about it. The thought of marrying him one day doesn't scare me; it just isn't something I want right now.

I'm currently a junior in college, so getting engaged in the next year or so wouldn't be unheard of. It would be somewhat normal, but I'm planning on getting my Ph.D. which means I'm going to be in school for the next 7 years or so. Personally, I'd like to have my education completed before I think about marriage.

I see people my age getting married and having kids already, and I see nothing wrong with that as long as that is what they want, and they're happy. For me, however, the thought of settling down at this point in my life scares the crap out of me because there's so much I want to accomplish before that happens.

I don't want to get married and not be able to enjoy being married because I have to go back to school or something like that. I don't want the only time I can get married to be when I'm on break. If I want to have a fall wedding, I should be able to have one without having to think about how much time I'd have to take off of school to prepare or wait to go on my honeymoon.

Once I get my future planned and have nearly finished my education, I'll be OK with talking about marriage and maybe start planning it, but that day isn't today.