I enjoy being a female. I enjoy wearing makeup, reading sappy romance novels and carrying around giant purses filled with old crumpled up receipts and gum wrappers. I enjoy emotional venting sessions with my best friends, ugly crying over "Grey's Anatomy" (I'm looking at you, Shonda Rhimes), and wearing heels so high my feet hurt for days afterwards. I've never looked at being a girl as a bad thing, either. I do believe that women hold a lot of power within themselves and because of this, they hold a lot of potential for revolutionizing the world. To me, being a woman is something that should not be taken for granted and we should not be underestimated.
Yes, I'll admit it, there are some downsides to womanhood. We do get paid less than men, we get asked what we are wearing more than what our opinions are on contemporary issues, and honestly, my eyebrows really shouldn't be high up on my list of priorities, but they are. Being a woman has its downsides and downfalls, but I've always done my best to look at the good side of things when it comes to my gender.
One thing that I cannot quite ignore anymore, however, is the girl vs. girl game that we play. I'm definitely not the only person, or girl for that matter, who has noticed this. It seems like ever since we enter this world as women, we are pitted against each other, and every positive move we make is met with bitchy comments and rolled eyes from other women. It's not the men who are demeaning us or trying to tear us down the closer we get to breaking that damn glass ceiling...it's women.
Let me ask you this, when was the last time that you, as a woman, felt genuine support from another woman? I'm not talking about that sugary sweet, "oooh I'm so happy for you, darling!" that is forced out from lipstick clad lips and is obviously fake. I'm talking about the real, genuine support that comes from another woman. When you look behind you on a difficult journey, were there other women back there cheering you on? Can you recall a time? I hope the answer is yes, but I'm prone to believe that the answer is no.
I'll be the first to admit it, and it pains me, but I hate other women sometimes. I hate the women that I overheard muttering about me in the Express dressing room when they heard me mention to the fitting room attendant that I had dropped from a size 12 in their jeans to a size 6. The words, "still fat" that I heard them say really didn't feel that good. I worked hard to feel good about myself again, and just when I was, there were women, women that I didn't even know, waiting to put me back in my place. Because why should I be allowed to feel good in my skin and like how great my ass looks?
Whether it was jealous friends in high school or the competitive co-workers I am sure I will encounter in the workplace, women steal each other's shine with the intention of attempting to shine brighter. We are constantly trying to be Queen B, be the most sought after woman, the most social, the most attractive. When you slip from the top or another female knocks you off your throne, it feels ugly. I've seen it and experienced it, and chances are to the ladies reading this, you have as well. I'm just asking, why the hell are we knocking each other off of our thrones? Aren't we all princesses?
It's a cycle. Once a woman is able to feel good enough within herself, another female is there to say something negative or go out of her way to outshine the other. The woman who finally found peace and confidence is once again torn down and oftentimes, the only way for her to feel better about herself is to deter another woman's happiness. We're on a hamster wheel and there doesn't seem to be any cheese in front of us, so really, what are we running towards?
In complete seriousness, why do we do this to each other? At what point are we, as women, going to realize that tearing each other down does no good at all? I think we all know we're doing it, but it seems like we are hardwired to compete against other women. Is it the media? Is is that we are biologically designed this way? No matter what it is or where it comes from, I'm calling for amnesty. I'm calling for a truce between you and that one girl in your class, a truce between the two girls competing over one dude, a truce between me and the women in the fitting room at Express.
I'm not stupid. I know this is so much easier said than done, as most things in this world are. Some people, male and females alike, are just plain mean. There's nothing that can be done about those people. But maybe the solution to this nonsensical problem is aligning ourselves with other women instead of fighting against them. I truly believe that good things will happen when we become friends and allies with the women we feel compelled to compete against. Learn from other successful women. Be a mentor to those who are having some trouble getting things going. Above all, just be a friend. Being a genuine friend to another woman is one of the best things you can do for yourself, for each other, and for women as a gender.
Women, support your fellow women. Don't steal their fire or their shine.
Won't we shine so much brighter when we shine together?
And when Taylor Swift comes back from her break and drops a new album, I hope there is at least one song on there about her squad. I hope all the successful, passionate and driven women of this world can all join hands and turn up and dance it out to T-Swift. Because really, how else do you solve life's problems?
