Why Having A Girl Gang At College Is So Important

Finding A Group Of Girls Who Always Have Your Back Makes Your College Experience So Much Better

Even though it has only been about a year since I have met most of them, I can surely tell you that these girls will be my bridesmaids, my phone calls when I need a break from the exhausting world, and my biggest supporters in life.


All throughout grade school, I never really had a clique. I had friends in every class. They were there for me when I needed them and we had that connection. But, I was friends with all different people. In high school, one can say that I did have a group. We did always hang out together, but we fought a lot and there were a lot of sides taken and other basic high school drama stuff.

But in college, I met some of the most beautiful people and we all formed into one clique. This group of girls is my ride or die. Even though it has only been about a year since I have met most of them, I can surely tell you that these girls will be my bridesmaids, my phone calls when I need a break from the exhausting world, and my biggest supporters in life.

We always talk about how we all met and our friendships formed. We connect it back to destiny and luck. For example, the Quads are considered so unsocial and people get so upset when they have to dorm there, but we found our group from there. One thing I have realized is how different each one of us is, and even with our differences, we fit so well together.

Some of us have boyfriends while others are single

It is so common for friendships to get affected when someone has a significant other. The ones in a relationship hang out with their significant other all the time or hang out with friends whom they can go out on double dates with. The ones who are single bond together about their single status and start to feel distant from the ones who are in a relationship. We, too, have faced this common situation many times. However, we have always resolved them and helped each other find ways to balance our relationships and friendships.

Bollywood rules some of our lives, while others have no idea what we are referring to

For a few of us, Bollywood is literally our lives and when we all meet, we literally talk about the gossip, dance to songs, and watch movies. For the rest of us, we don't know those many Bollywood songs or know every reference that is mentioned. Instead of segmenting into smaller groups for our discussions, we update each other and explain our references. We don't make someone feel left out.

Our personality traits range from introvert to extrovert

Our group consists of people who are both introverts and extroverts. There are people who are really quiet and reserved. They open up when they are asked to. And there are people are the loudest ones of a party and so outgoing. Normally, the loud people would take over the spotlight from the quiet ones. However, in our group, the loud people make sure the quiets one talk and share their stories. No one gets overshadowed here.

Our majors are obviously not the same

Being college friends, it is pretty obvious that we are all studying different things. We all go to Rutgers, but most of us study at different schools with different majors within the university. Some of us are in the Business School and some of us are in the School of Arts and Sciences. These schools have their classes predominately on different campuses and our exam dates vary as well. But we always find ways to study for own exams together.

I am so thankful for finding my group of friends, my rocks. Everyone is literally one text away and always there for one another. I love these girls so much.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.


Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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