We are all searching for love. As a woman, you deserve someone who thinks the world of you, not someone who will send you one random text message late at night when he's bored. The search to find a man who will hold your heart in good times and bad is definitely not easy, but it helps to protect yourself from future heartbreak if you already know for whom you are looking to share life's burdens.
"When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you." ~ Mike O'Donnell, "17 Again"
1. A man who supports all of your goals.
If your boyfriend is in a relationship with you for the long haul, he needs to be willing to support your career goals and aspirations. One of my best friends wants to go to medical school to become a doctor, but she has encountered so many guys who were intimidated by her drive and ambition. You want a boyfriend who will be proud of you in every instance of life!
2. A man who respects your parents.
Your mom and dad know you better than anybody else on the planet. You need a man who not only loves you, but your parents too! If he gets along well with your parents, and they like him, you are set. A relationship can only be extremely difficult if the parents do not approve.
3. A man who has the same foundational beliefs as you.
This one is crucial. Note that this does not say, "has identical interests," but someone who shares your same personal beliefs. I faced a lot of heartbreak in my life because I tried to date other boys who were not Christian or who did not try to live out their beliefs in their everyday lives. Trying to drag my ex-boyfriends to Mass with me on Sunday tore my little heart to pieces until I realized I needed someone who already had a solid relationship with God.
My love, Kevin!
4. A man of God who will not only wait with you, but for you.
If you are like me and you are saving sex until marriage, you need a man who will not only wait with you, but for you. You need someone who is waiting with you because he loves you deeply. Anything less than that would be settling.
5. A man who will not call you clingy.
Every girl deserves someone who will never look at her emotional needs as a problem. It goes without saying that you shouldn't actually be texting him non-stop all day, but if there's ever a time where you had a long, stressful day and you just want to cuddle, it should not be a problem.
6. A man who will try to understand your emotional moments.
Note that I said try. He might not be able to understand them all the time, but it helps if you explain them out in steps for him. Men will not be able to read your mind, and it is unfair for you to expect him to do so. However, a good boyfriend should always be willing to help you through whatever you're dealing with at the time!
7. A man who won't make you wonder where he is at 3 a.m. on a Friday night.
If you're a worrier like me, your boyfriend should want to reassure you that everything is OK. He's safe, with friends, and having a lot of fun. He won't update you obsessively every five seconds, but he will find it important to know you're at peace.
8. A man who will pursue you through and through.
If you have never seen "The Office," I highly recommend it because the way Jim relentlessly pursues Pam is undeniably beautiful. He never gave up on her, and yet he was incredibly patient even when her feelings for him were not returned. Jim never pushed Pam, but he truly saw her for the treasure that she is.
9. A man who impresses you with his politeness.
Guys who have manners are the best. One of the best ways to experience this is to watch how he treats your waiter or waitress while you're at a restaurant. If he treats the people who serve you very well, it could be a good indication of how he will treat you.
10. A man who will call you out when you need it.
In holding a boyfriend accountable for certain actions, he must also do the same for you. When you love someone, you should always want to help them become the person that God created them to be. Sometimes that can be really difficult when he wants to help you work through a flaw! This does not mean constant criticism, but loving correction when it is needed.
11. A man who will fight for you.
Good relationships take time and effort, and whoever said that relationships are easy was dead wrong. It means that you're willing to battle any challenges that life throws at the both of you. An easy relationship does not mean no conflict, in fact, I would be worried if certain couples never argued at all! It means that you are both willing to go through conflict thinking it is "us vs the problem," not "me vs you."
12. A man who will endlessly commit to you, no matter what the cost.
This criteria goes hand in hand with number 10. A man who will fight for you is a man who will commit to you. Life is messy, and I guarantee there will be circumstances in life that will make you question your relationship. Hollywood love says we need to be constantly infatuated with our significant other, when in reality, that's not healthy. There could be someone who your boyfriend thinks is prettier, more funny and smarter than you, but the most beautiful relationships happen when you commit to each other because you unapologetically love one another. The world tells us that we need to find the next best thing, but human beings are not a commodity that you can throw out when you're bored. Love happens when you make the definitive choice to commit to one another, and when two completely whole people come together out of good for the other.
I know it might sound impossible to find a man who fits all of these criteria, but I promise, it is possible because I see it in my own life. In creating a checklist, it is not just so you can have the "perfect" boyfriend, it gives you an outline of how you should be holding yourself, too! It is so important to always be trying to make yourself into the best person you can be. Year after year, I was met with heartbreak each unlike the last and it wasn't until I decided to put my foot down after dating many lackluster men that I found a relationship that is long-lasting.
God has someone in store for you. He always provides abundantly. Trust in Him.
