I've Been Ghosting Friends Before Ghosting Was Even A Thing

I've Been Ghosting Friends Before Ghosting Was Even A Thing

Cutting toxic people out of your life is hard but necessary.
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In the short amount of time I've lived on this Earth, I realized that the more friends I had while I was younger the more ghosting I had to do. Call me a coward—because I am—but I'm not at all a confrontational person. Breaking up with your significant other is easier than breaking up with a friend.

What do I even say? "Hey, by the way, I think our friendship doesn't benefit me in any way so I think we should end it now?" "I know we had some good times but I seriously think that you weigh me down as an individual and I think I need to move on from that?" "You're just mean, bye?" How does one make that executive decision to cut off a friend because I thought friends were forever?

Turns out friends aren't forever. The ones that disappear with time are different from the ones that come later and just end up being horrid people. By labeling them as friends it gives off connotations that you have to accept every inch of them; the good, the bad, and the ugly. WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I had such a hard time stopping being friends with people because I thought friends are supposed to be there for you and vice versa. You give them more chances than anyone else.

However, you have to learn how to distinguish the good from the bad friends. The good ones motivate you, support you, and are there for you in times of crisis. The bad ones are usually the ones that weigh you down, put you down, and criticize you in no way beneficial for your growth. I had to learn the hard way and to be honest, there is no other way to learn this valuable lesson.

So I started ghosting my friends even before the dating scene claimed it. I stopped talking to people who made me feel uncomfortable. I stopped talking to those who made me feel not ambitious, worthless, and just downright wasted my time. In the beginning, you feel guilty. But after a while, you will feel like you had made the right decision.

It's the harsh reality all of us will eventually need to face.

Although it sounds like I cut people out of my life all the time, it's really not the case. I really do try to maintain good relationships with all of my friends but it tends to be hard when you have different goals in life.

Ghosting is really not the best way to end a relationship but we all do it anyways. I need to learn how to communicate or just choose better friends.

Please, if anyone has a better option than ghosting, help a girl out!

Cover Image Credit: Nacha Promsatian

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Turning 'I'm Sorry' Into 'Thank You'

A process of self-awareness I think everyone should consider.

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My entire life I've been apologetic.

I use apologies far too often in my daily life. Whether it be to someone holding the door for me even though I'm still ten feet from the door or my interrupting the custodian cleaning my hall's bathroom. From stepping on my friend's toes to bumping into someone in line at Starbucks.

I think as children, we are taught that apologizing for our actions wipes away the consequences from those actions. In past relationships, I have relied on apologies to make myself feel better about how I've made others feel instead of actually using them to improve my actions.

For me, it has just become something ingrained in my personality. I've noticed that it has become a reflex rather than a conscious response. What I've realized recently is that this is something I can change.

Apologies are helpful when mending hurtful or accidental situations, especially when you find yourself in the wrong, but not everything deserves an, "I'm sorry," and using that phrase for every accidental encounter or mistake, in my eyes, lessens its impact.

If we all use, "I'm sorry," for every minor inconvenience we cause, the words become less meaningful.

I have read about this online a lot lately, and it is suggested that instead of apologizing, we should give thanks.

If I'm late for a date with my friends, the old me would've said, "I'm SO sorry, guys!" But the new me will say, "Thank you for waiting for me."

Instead of apologizing to our (wonderful) custodians, I'll say, "Thank you so much for the work you do here every day."

If someone is kind enough to hold the door for me, even though I'm nowhere near it, I won't apologize for inconveniencing them. Instead, I will take the time to appreciate the fact that they were kind enough to do so, despite my distance from the door.

I think that this is a process everyone can benefit from, so long as they are willing to be conscious of their thoughts and the words they speak. By replacing, "I'm sorry," with an expression of gratitude, we can develop a more positive mindset and reserve apologies for situations that deserve them.

We can also use those rare apologies to remind us to improve our actions; if we hurt someone, we don't get to decide that we didn't or invalidate their feelings. We can then meaningfully apologize and allow it to inherently change our behavior.


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