When I first heard of the phrase "ghosting" I remember thinking, "Wait you just don't ever respond? That just sounds mean". It brought me back to middle school when the mean girls would give me the silent treatment. Yet, even my sweetest friend has "ghosted" someone before. The idea is shocking to me because even if someone I did not like in real life looked me in the eye and asked anything, I would respond.
Before digital media this idea of snubbing was left to the bullies, now even the kindest people I know feel comfortable leaving people on reading.
Of course, a big part of this is due to the astronomical number of young adults on dating apps and websites. In fact, young adults are on these romance technologies so often there are some who admit to having an addiction to online dating apps. Some of these popular apps include Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Match.
These apps appear to make dating easier, but in reality, making it more difficult than ever. Being active on your account will allow you to go on many dates, but usually, never any that are long term.
The idea that people can just stop talking to you without any explanation or reason can be very psychologically damaging to the recipient of the "ghosting". We might think it is all in good fun, but the other person will be questioning what they texted that made the other person uninterested. On the other side, it negatively impacts the "ghost" too. Purposely ignoring the existence of another human being online that behavior is easily translated into interpersonal relationships offline too.
Another big issue of online dating on apps such as Tinder is the way the matching happening. People are selected based solely on their physical appearance. While physical attraction is important in relationships is certainly isn't everything. More often than not people are not seeking validation by what they look like, but who they are.
When we receive no matches there is the feeling that someone rejected who we are, when in fact they were simply looking in the wrong places for beauty. Thus, propelling the hookup culture into further oblivion.
When we swipe right and then after a few conversations ghost them we are basically telling them I think you are attractive on the outside but not on the inside. Even if that is not the message that is intended, often it is the one portrayed. It can be very damaging to those addicted to using these apps.
All in all my message is simple to stop ghosting and be kind, or maybe just delete the apps altogether.
