Over the years, I’ve had many friendships and the one thing they all had in common was effort. It takes effort to make any relationship work, even friendships. You have to make an effort to be respectful, tolerant, thoughtful, forgiving, understanding and selfless, to name a few. Not all friendships, like most relationship, are 50/50 either. Some friendships will require more give than take. It is up to you to determine whether or not it is worth it.

In order to have friends, you have to be a good friend. Being a good friend means you have to be honest and trustworthy. You have to know when to listen and be a shoulder for them to cry, and when to set them straight. Sometimes we need a friend to put us in our place. They probably know us better than we know ourselves, so hear them out when they offer advice. They have your best interest at heart and are only telling you out of love and concern. The most important thing is to just be there for one another.

Friends grow and evolve together. You build each other up and want nothing but the best for each other. A good friend will help you with whatever you need, whenever you need it. You will never feel alone and you know you can always count on them. They are so important to your emotional well-being through the emotional support they provide. They sincerely care about you, even when you do not understand what or why they did something. Make sure you trust them and their intentions. You’d be surprised how many people will try to sabotage your friendship.

Friends can be themselves in front of each other. It’s never easy to be vulnerable, but with your friends, you can. You know that YOU are enough. They will not try and change who you are, rather accept you for you. Best of all, they will never judge you. They accept you flaws and all. They build each other up and inspire one another. They want to see each other succeed. Friendships grow when they sacrifice for one another. It shows them how valuable they are and that nothing is more important than their friends’ happiness.

A good friend will admit when they are wrong. Listen and try to understand why they did what they did. If someone if willing to admit they were wrong, they must care about you. No one likes admitting they are wrong. Friends teach you that it is okay to be wrong too. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Regardless of how big or small, we forgive people we love, just as God forgave us. We are ALL sinners. Remember that. In the long run, your relationship will be stronger, because you know you do not have to be perfect. We are all human and should be able to count on the forgiveness of our friends. Personally, I know I can count on my family and friends to forgive me. Those who truly know me know I would NEVER intentionally hurt anyone. Ultimately, people who lack forgiveness, have their own problems. Do not take it personal. Just pray for them.

Some friendships are worth the time and effort it takes to make the friendship work, but some are not. Some last and some do not. Regardless, every friendship serves a purpose, regardless of how brief or long it lasts. Some friends are around for a season and it was fun while it lasted. Others were there for a reason. Think about it, you learned something. What purpose did that friendship serve? Then, there are a select few friends that are there for a lifetime. They are there no matter what. You know you can count on each other and nothing will ever come between you.

Be thankful for the friends you have. Having real friends is priceless. Its wonderful knowing there is someone that will understand you, even when you don’t say a word. You know they care. They have taken the time to get to know you, the real you, and appreciate everything about you. They accept your imperfections and will always be there for you. Any bond that strong is worth fighting for. It should never take losing someone for you to realize how important they were to you. Life is too short to do anything but be a good person and friend.