Coming Home

Coming Home

My Journey 'Out of the Closet.'
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You know how when you sit down and hear that someone is gay, you ask about their coming out story? About how they knew, or how they told people, to how they found themselves where they are today? Yeah, I don’t have anything nearly as majestic as that.

This is my story.

In June of 2016, I attended a wedding with my best friend. We were sitting on the side of the dance floor, chatting and talking about the future. I mentioned how I don’t feel like there is anyone out in the world for me. She asked if I felt that there was no one out in the world for me.. or if I felt that there was just no man out in the world for me.

That shook me to my core. What? What on Earth does a man have to do with it? Then, I realized what she was asking. Was I gay? No, of course not. The attraction that I feel towards women is normal. Its okay to find someone pretty. But the tears I had pouring down my face said otherwise. There is a big difference between telling someone that they are pretty and finding yourself falling for them. So, I took the road that made most sense and told her that I was bisexual. She promised to stay by my side, and for an entire year, kept my secret, as I continued to battle the struggles of school, work, and my mental health.

Fast forward to one year later. This past summer, the summer before I began my Senior year of college, no less, I decided to finally tell my mother that I was bisexual. That I, a happy woman, found women attractive, too. As she has always told me, she was proud and wanted me to be happy in life.

But I wasn’t happy. I finally got it out there to one of the most important people to me, but I still wasn’t comfortable. That night, I once again rain to my best friend. She asked, ‘why don’t you admit the one thing you know?’

And I finally did. I’m gay, and I want to love another woman. I decided to say otherwise, because I was afraid of the social repercussions and what that could mean for the people I know and love in my life… but, what about me? Don’t I deserve to be happy and in love, too?

The answer is HELL YES. I have never been happier than the moment I finally said that I’m gay. I feel so in tune with my mind and feelings and I have grown so much in terms of how I act and present myself to others. And for the people who don’t like who I choose to love, that’s okay.

Because I will be comfortable and I matter. My future wife, wherever the hell she is, is going to be beautiful, gorgeous, courageous, and we are going to build an amazing life full of dogs and babies and flowers. And I can’t wait until the day I find her, because I already know that I love her, and have fought to have her at my side.
Cover Image Credit: PopSugar.News

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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Your Chick's Guide To Picking Up Chicks

And I'm not talkin' about Gal Pals....

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After the glitter coated glow of Pride month and the seas of nail-biting from my coming out, I have officially hit my first bisexual dilemma.
My first real oppression.
How in the world do I flirt with girls? No, honestly. Our Lord and Savior, KingPrincess, help me! How am I to tell which of the many nice girls with their nice eyes, and their other nice Everythings, want me as a Comrade or as a Canoodler? As a Gal-Pal or Good Time? As a Friend or a Faditzer? (Hi my name's Lauren, age 19, and my strengths are making up synonyms for frick-frackin'. you get the gist.)
See, I've always had the luxury of some lanky boy to stutter his way into asking me out to rely on, but now here I am. I'm not lanky. I'm no boy. But here I am st-st-stuck in my endeavors to find a girl who'll actualize those butterflies hidden in my stomach all these years.

Thus, I have compiled this *helpful* and *realistic* and in no way *farcical* guide to help not just me but You Other Lesbian or Pan gal into finding yourself your new lezbo lovah! (Sorry! I just had to! "Lezbo lovah" just looked too silly to not write.)

LET THE BATH AND BODY WORKS SCENTED SEDUCTION COMMENCE!

1. Be a person that identifies as female. Makes things a lot easier to weed out the lesbos when you yourself have the lesbo gene which we all know is the 2nd X chromosome.

2. Get a Tinder, and proceed to swipe right on all the girl-crushes you've stifled acting upon up to your coming out.

WARNING: By putting your applicational heart on your sleeve, you will encounter incredibly uncomfy eye contact with about all of the girls you swiped right on. These incredibly stunning Level 10 Lezzies know your kind, and will thus, not engage in right-swiping. Your eyes will meet. Only your breath will hitch. And then she'll pretend she's getting a call because she does not want to look at you or your dirty sneakers anymore.

Or just set it to a 50-mile radius.

3. During Pride month, keep a list of what Type of Gay they come out as Pan? Gay? Bi? Lesbian? Lipstick-Lesbian? College Lesbian Who's Gonna Marry That Kappa Slappa Nu Guy? or Butch?

4. Date your gay friend's Ex. And then when things don't work out (Like one of y'all won't agree to the threesome... lookin' at You STACY...), then date your now Ex's Ex. Once the initial infiltration has commenced, you can now sleep your way through the entirety of the Lez League of Evil Exes.

At least until there's a repeat... lookin' at you Again STACY...

5. Be the Secretary of your local LGBTQIA club, because we all know, the President is just there for resume-building stuff and the Vice President's always just an Ally. Secretary's where it's at. You get to handle paperwork such as the club's member roster complete with the phone number's of all your Only-a-Walk-Away-Lady-Lovers.

6. Seek out the girls with dyed hair. WARNING: Be on-guard for Art-Hoes. If she collects comic strips from the New Yorker- that is NOt a Lesbian! Repeat! Not a Lesbian! However, if she has teal hair And wants to Occupy Wallstreet, then she probably wants to occupy the space between your legs too.

7. See who's still asleep 10 AM on a Sunday. Because we all know the Gays™ aren't welcomed to the Church™.

8. Is she wearing a Canadian Tuxedo- AKA denim on denim? You found yourself a Proven Lesbian, now go get her champ.

9. Be So Hot you make the straight girls question themselves. Live out that long-awaited Lesbian dream of converting that mythic Manic Pixie Straight Girl.

10. Flock to the pixie cuts or get a pixie cut. Because we all know a pixie cut makes you look more like a boy, and Lesbians secretly still just wants boys. RIGHT??? RIGHTTT!!! ALL OF THIS IS JUST PENIS ENVY ISN'T IT FREUD!? Or get one to go as Tinker Bell for Halloween- lesbians eat that shit up. (Side Note: Tinker Bell was definitely Lez. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.)

11. Blast Haley Kiyoko wherever you go. The Queer Queen's siren song floats all Within-Earshot-Women your way like in the cartoons when they wolf smells a distant pie resting on the window sill. After playing "Curious", that pie won't be the only thing that's getting eaten tonight.

12. Take the only Women Studies or Feminist course offered on campus.

13. Teach the only Women Studies or Feminist course offered on campus.

14. Be the first in line when your local theatre shows "Wonder Woman 1984", but Don't Dress Up. You wanna attract Fuck-Buddies, not Fan Girls. Additionally, spit on every man in line because of THIS MOVIE ISN'T FOR THEM. THEY GET EVERY OTHER MOVIE. WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE ONE MOVIE JUST FOR LESBIANS. THEY CAN'T EXPECT US TO WATCH JODIE FOSTER FLICKS FOR THE REST OF OUR LIFE???

15. Stand next to the only copy of the Vagina Monologues in your local library. And just wait. And wait. And one day, it will happen. Know that wait will all have been worth it. One day, she will come to you, and you will feel the sweet resolution to your odyssey. One day, the Eve Ensler will come to your local library and try and get you to show her your vagina. The prophecy says this will be the Second Cumming.

16. When you visit friends' dorms, look to see if they left their Gay Card lying around.

17.Or their 12 seasons of Ellen on DVD.

18. Or their Ellen cosplay. (Complete with Ellen's pixie cut wig, or else they aren't a Lesbian.)

19. Seek out the girl who got in a political Facebook rant. If she's that passionate about Women's Issues, she's gotta be that passionate about Women's Bodies too? Right?

20. Does she wear combat boots? Lesbian.

21. Or a patterned button-up à la Tan France from Queer Eye? Lesbian.

22. Or a full Ellen DeGeneres cosplay complete with blonde pixie cut wig? You know the drill.

22. If "Blue Is the Warmest Color" recently watched in her Netflix queue then you know what to do... ;) Tell her you don't love her anymore in French like Léa and then go cry and keep your mouth slightly ajar all the time like Adèle.

23. Turn your Baseball Hat backward on your head. It will activate a Fairy GodMother-esque spell changing your earrings into gauges, your dirty sneakers into Vans, your Taylor Swift playlist into only GirlPool and Snail Mail, and in your hand- there's now a penny board. But act quick, for the spell breaks at midnight when the Skate Park closes!

24. Or for a different Lez aesthetic, sit at your local coffee shop wearing a black turtleneck. Order one mint tea. Wait. They will come. Be prepared.

25. And finally, don't wear a bra. You won't need to find them, they'll find you.

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