Coming Home

Coming Home

My Journey 'Out of the Closet.'
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You know how when you sit down and hear that someone is gay, you ask about their coming out story? About how they knew, or how they told people, to how they found themselves where they are today? Yeah, I don’t have anything nearly as majestic as that.

This is my story.

In June of 2016, I attended a wedding with my best friend. We were sitting on the side of the dance floor, chatting and talking about the future. I mentioned how I don’t feel like there is anyone out in the world for me. She asked if I felt that there was no one out in the world for me.. or if I felt that there was just no man out in the world for me.

That shook me to my core. What? What on Earth does a man have to do with it? Then, I realized what she was asking. Was I gay? No, of course not. The attraction that I feel towards women is normal. Its okay to find someone pretty. But the tears I had pouring down my face said otherwise. There is a big difference between telling someone that they are pretty and finding yourself falling for them. So, I took the road that made most sense and told her that I was bisexual. She promised to stay by my side, and for an entire year, kept my secret, as I continued to battle the struggles of school, work, and my mental health.

Fast forward to one year later. This past summer, the summer before I began my Senior year of college, no less, I decided to finally tell my mother that I was bisexual. That I, a happy woman, found women attractive, too. As she has always told me, she was proud and wanted me to be happy in life.

But I wasn’t happy. I finally got it out there to one of the most important people to me, but I still wasn’t comfortable. That night, I once again rain to my best friend. She asked, ‘why don’t you admit the one thing you know?’

And I finally did. I’m gay, and I want to love another woman. I decided to say otherwise, because I was afraid of the social repercussions and what that could mean for the people I know and love in my life… but, what about me? Don’t I deserve to be happy and in love, too?

The answer is HELL YES. I have never been happier than the moment I finally said that I’m gay. I feel so in tune with my mind and feelings and I have grown so much in terms of how I act and present myself to others. And for the people who don’t like who I choose to love, that’s okay.

Because I will be comfortable and I matter. My future wife, wherever the hell she is, is going to be beautiful, gorgeous, courageous, and we are going to build an amazing life full of dogs and babies and flowers. And I can’t wait until the day I find her, because I already know that I love her, and have fought to have her at my side.
Cover Image Credit: PopSugar.News

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19 Reasons Why The 'Part Tomboy Part Girly-Girl' Is The Best Type Of Girl

With us, you get the best of both worlds, the best of BOTH girls.
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1. She has a guy's sense of humor so you will constantly be laughing together.

2. She knows how to handle your sarcasm, and she'll throw it right back in your face.

3. Your friends will love her because she is basically one of the guys (except for the facts that she smells good and shaves her legs).

4. She can kick your ass in dizzy bat, pool or maybe, on a good day, beat you in shot-gunning.

5. Little things don't bother her- she is rational and level-headed.

She knows how to put things into perspective and knows what is worth getting mad over and what just isn't.

6. BUT she also has a sensitive side... she knows the ways to your heart whether it is an amazing home cooked meal or a good back scratch.

She is always thinking of ways to make your day because she is thoughtful.

7. She will call you out on your BS, because let's be honest... someone has to.

8. She'll eat pizza and drink beer with you, and maybe if you are lucky she'll even smoke a cigar.

9. She cleans up nice.

Sometimes her hair is in a messy ponytail and a hat, but other times she looks like she just stepped off the red carpet.

10. She doesn't mind getting dirty.

She can spend a day on the boat, fishing and wakeboarding, hunting, shooting guns, or eating unlimited chicken wings with you.

11. She is go-with-the-flow and always up for anything and everything.

Festival? Amusement park? Concert? Drive-in movie? A day at the beach? Hell yeah, sounds awesome.

12. She likes to work out, but she isn't a health freak… sometimes you just gotta have a McChicken.

No regrets, you know what I'm sayin'?

13. She has an open mind about people, places, and trying new things.

You will never be bored with her.

14. She can get along with pretty much anybody.

15. She doesn't care what people think.

She'll be the first one on the dance floor at the wedding, but the same person who helps an older man carry his bags to the car at the mall.

16. Your sisters will adore her, but so will your brothers.

17. She isn't afraid to voice her opinion and stand up for what she believes in.

18. Not only does she not mind doing “guy things," but get this... she actually enjoys them and will do them with you.

She'll watch late night ESPN with you, play basketball in the pool, be player 2 in "Tony Hawk Underground," go fishing, dirt biking, you name it, she is down.

19. Safe to say, we're pretty word.

So word, in fact, we might even be going extinct... So, if we just so happen to grace you with our majestical presence, you better make damn sure you don't let us go.

Cover Image Credit: Catherine Anne Guarino

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Accepting That I Like Women Is My Proudest Accomplishment

You're not supposed to think of soft skin, and ruby lips, and I was.

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I remember being a 12-year-old girl in middle school, who was absolutely terrified to tell anyone that I liked girls. I didn't want to tell my friends. I didn't want my family to ever find out. It was my big secret. It was something that I was so afraid to be judged for, because you're not supposed to be that way, right?

You're not supposed to even think about the same gender in a sexual way. You're not supposed to think of soft skin, and ruby lips, and I was. I was thinking about girls...all the time. I was thinking about the smiles, and the last minute sleepovers, and the intellectual conversations, and the laughs.

My god, the laughs. It just didn't make sense to me. And as I grew older, I couldn't really keep it a secret anymore. I couldn't keep my smile from forming when certain girls walked into the room. I couldn't stop staring when girls would walk away. Even though boys were on my mind as well, in the Forefront of my brain, I couldn't help but imagine myself in a house, with a wife and children, and it was so scary because I couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me.

Why did I have to be so different? No matter how hard I tried to make the feelings go away, whether it was with mental or physical pain, nothing seemed to work.

I remember being a 12-year-old girl when gay marriage was legalized in New York State.

I remember being a 17-year-old girl in high school when a fellow student called me, and my best friend ' dikes.' I remember being absolutely stunned, and embarrassed. Not only was the statement true, but it had been yelled across the bus as if she was just shouting for my name. This is the moment I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for my entire school career to be judged, and this was it? This is what I was afraid of?

I remember being a 21-year-old woman, when I ran into some people from school, in the gay bar. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I went to NYC pride and saw a tremendous amount of support. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I fell in love with another beautiful woman. I remember being a 21-year-old woman when I wasn't afraid anymore.

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