Sometimes I feel really shitty compared to my friends. It seems like everyone around me is graduating soon and on the (correct) path to being an actual adult. Then there's me: still in school, not going to the school I had in mind, single, and most importantly- broke.
Most of my friends from high school went on a different path than I chose - a four-year degree at a university. Why do I feel bad sometimes about leaving my hometown and going to a university? Probably because everyone back home either already has a well-paying job or they're graduating soon. Not me. Year two in my four-year degree, and even though I feel shitty sometimes, I love the path I'm on.
I've always done pretty well in school, so thinking about going to school for a long time has never deterred me or stood in my way. I guess I just wish some of my friends were a little more aware of how they sounded when they talked about their graduations while I'll still be in a classroom somewhere.
Don't even get me started on being single. Honestly. I *HATE* talking about relationships with my friends or constantly being the friend that gets set up on a blind date. Please stop putting me on pity dates. I'd rather go as a wheel... or get this - I'd rather stay home.
All of my friends seem to be in these long relationships, and while that's all good and well and I'm happy for them, it's not my thing right now. Work and school come first for me, and I don't have time to focus on someone else. I don't mind being single, so stop making me feel bad when I talk about more than one person.
I'm a broke ass college student. Shocker, right? I've already talked about how working back home in the summer is awful and hard to do, but wow. I miss working at least two jobs and going to school. I miss the freedom of it all. I don't even want to go out with some of my friends anymore because they only talk about money and the things they plan to buy. I'm happy for my friends' successes, but it's exhausting to hear how materialistic some of them are starting to become.
I'm definitely the struggle bus of the group, and this bus doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Pretty soon my jobs and work start back up, and I'll feel better, but right now I'm going to enjoy time with my family and friends back home before it's time to say goodbye again.
My friends rock, and I'm so proud of them for everything they're achieving. I wish I felt that way about myself sometimes, but I'm grateful I'm able to feel that way about people I truly care about. I'm a broke, single student, and that's perfectly okay. One day I'll get my shit together, but until then, I'll be just fine.