If this is your first time going through a holiday without a loved one-- let me tell you, its tough.
It's really tough. But, I promise you...you can and will get through it.
1. Remember the good times that you shared with this loved one- this can help make you smile.
Remember that even though times are different now, you still have had a past with this loved one that shared so many laughs, smiles, and memories. Don't be afraid to remind yourself of them every once and a while.
2. You will wake up one day and probably just want to cry- and that is okay.
You're going to have those days that all you want to do is sit in bed with a picture of your loved one and cry. You know what? Why the hell not. You are entitled to cry whenever you want to. Do you want to cry for an hour? A minute? Two hours? However long it takes for you to let it out- do it. Because nobody knows what you are going through unless they have been through it themselves.
3. Make new traditions.
Sometimes, I hear this and my whole body cringes. "But I don't want to make new traditions, that's the point." This is my first reaction, and after I realize that not everything will be the same, and that's obvious. But, even after the loved one is missing, it's okay to do new things that make the holiday a little special. Realize that this is not only for yourself, but for your other family members or friends, to help make the day go by a little easier.
4. It's okay to smile, and to be happy.
I think after losing a loved one everyone thinks that everything must be dull, sad, and broken. Everything is not the same, and never will be. Well, let me tell you that broken crayons still color, and they color beautifully- just as if the crayon was a full one. Don't cut yourself short- you deserve to be happy. You deserve to live again. It may take time, but you will learn.
5. Spend time with the people that mean most to you.
After losing a loved one, you learn that at any minute, something can happen. At any minute, your whole life could change. Appreciate the friends and family who are there for you, love the ones that love you, say that you love someone before it ever gets too late. Because it's never too late, and tomorrow is never promised. This world we live in is a crazy one, but don't forget to appreciate the love around you- that's what your loved one would want you to do.
Talk to the loved one that you lost from time to time, share a picture or a story of them. It's going to be a hard time of the year--hell, it is going to suck. But let me tell you, you and hundreds of thousands of other people have lost someone. It's during the darkest of night time when the stars shine. You are not broken, you will be okay, it's just another day; another day to remember to thank your loved ones around you. Tell the story of your loved ones who aren't around anymore--remember them in a happy away, look to the sky and smile at your angels. Don't forget, they're always watching.
