Maybe you’ve dreamed of living with your significant other, with the thought of waking up next to your loved one making your heart skip a beat. Then again, maybe you’re the type of person where the thought of living with a significant other makes your stomach bunch up into knots and you feel a full blown panic attack coming on. While shacking up is exciting there are some key aspects to keep in mind to make the transition as smooth as possible.
First of all, we need to establish that moving in together isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. There will be times, especially that first night, that you are over the moon and you and your man (or girl!) will want to spend the whole night snuggling on the couch. There will also be nights when every little thing your partner does irritates you and you want to scream at them (imagine: hearing him chew his food while the newest Game of Thrones is on). So, what can make living together easier? Never fear, I’m here to help!
Talk through the details and set realistic expectations.
When you live alone or with friends household chores and other minute details of life don’t necessarily get discussed, they just happen. Before moving in together discuss what each other's expectations are in regards to household chores and more. For example, I could care less about making my bed and I am known to wait a day or two (or till the next time I have to do laundry) before I put my clothes away, but my boyfriend strongly prefers everything clean and in an orderly fashion. Understanding where both parties are coming from and making a genuine effort to meet in the middle goes a long way.
Space.
You think moving in together will result in spending all your time together and becoming attached at the hip? Wrong, so wrong. Talk about how much time you need by yourselves and set aside time to fulfill those needs. Whether your space and/or alone time constitutes of going to the gym, hanging out with friends, or watching Netflix on your own, be sure to make time for it. Taking care of yourself and doing what you love will definitely improve your relationship.
Sex.
“Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex”
-Salt-N-Pepa
For real tho, talk about your sex-pectations! Understanding what both parties want out of a sex life can aid in preventing your relationship from falling into the comfort trap. The comfort trap is when you two get so comfortable that your sex starts to become repetitive. No one wants that. If you fear you and your significant other are starting to get too comfortable or boring in bed, talk about it, chances are he feels the same. What you want in the bedroom (or any other room, gotta break your new place in right?!) is an important part of a healthy relationship, especially if you are moving in together.
Finances.
Speaking of realistic expectations, money is a necessity to discuss. Sure, talking about your personal finances with a significant other may seem, well, personal, but if you say you’re ready to move in together, then this is an absolute must to talk about. First of all, sit down together and talk frankly about how much you two make, if you have student loans to help pay rent, etc. It can really help to individually make a budget and go from those when pricing out where to live. Remember to think about how much utilities will cost when budgeting! If one of you has a job that pays a substantial amount larger, splitting the rent 60/40 may be the way to go for you or split everything 50/50. No matter what you two decide, it’s a perfect plan as long as you are both truly comfortable and happy with where you are at!
At the end of the day, moving in together is a big step in a relationship and there’s a lot of factors to consider, but above all else, enjoy it! Living together for the first time will be exciting, scary, and wonderful, so take a deep breath and get to packing those boxes!
