As life progresses, we're bound to have many people come and go as they please. What really hurts is when we weren't prepared for the relationship to end. I'm sure you've had a situation like this happen, that's probably why you're reading this. As for me, my best friend hurt me in one of the worst ways possible, so I was forced to end the friendship. I still wasn't prepared for that ending. She was one of the most important and influential people in my life, and I still miss her. My grief about the ending of a four-year long friendship doesn’t excuse what she did.
But I’ve forgiven her.
I’ve forgiven her because even though she hurt me, I know she’s still a good person. I’ve forgiven her because even though she hurt me, she was someone who I shared everything with. I’ve forgiven her because she was someone who I considered my sister.
You can’t hold on to hate for someone who impacts your life like that, even if they did hurt you. She was someone I just naturally connected with. We were like the same person, and trying to find someone who can replace that is no easy feat.
Sometimes breaking up with a best friend can be more painful than breaking up with your significant other. Once we go through a breakup, we resonate with the fact that our real soulmate is still out there waiting for us. But how can we replace our best friend once they break up with us? That person was there for everything and they know everything about you. Even thinking about replacing that person sounds awful.
Having to somehow find a new best friend that can bring to the table everything your original best friend once did seems like a tiring and impossible task. How are we supposed to find a new best friend, when we didn’t even want to lose the first one?
Friendships shape who we are. When we surround ourselves with people, we can start to pick up their mannerisms and little sayings. So when a friendship ends, it’s like losing a piece of who you were. Having to pick up and move on from that is difficult.
It’s okay to be sad about a friendship breakup. Losing a best friend is just like a break up in a romantic relationship. It really really sucks. It feels lonely and sometimes you feel embarrassed because you feel the way you do. It’s almost as if since you weren’t dating this person, then you aren’t allowed to feel this way. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Moving on is going to take time, just like any romantic relationship. There’s nothing wrong with feeling like you’re empty, like a piece of you is missing.
Although I and my ex-best friend aren’t in each other’s lives anymore, I’ll be the bigger person and admit that I miss her. Although I have an amazing girlfriend and emotional support dog, I still miss the comfort of my best friend. But it’s a sad reality that friendship can’t last forever. If you’re struggling to get over a friendship break up, it’s okay to feel the way that you do. You’re allowed to grieve even if you guys were just friends. But just like any other romantic relationship breakup, you and I both will get through it.