You were the one I never got over. The one I always wondered about but never reached out to for obvious reasons. We had our fall out, twice, actually. The first time you hurt me and the second time I hurt you. But this is not another apology.

And look, I get it. I understand not wanting to date someone in college but you could have saved a lot of heartbreak by just saying so instead of what you did to me. But I forgave you. I forgave you and you later forgave me for a backhanded betrayal I thought would be the end of anything between us for the sake of your own well being. And for that, I appreciate you for.

Talking to you the past few months has been great. I've had an old friend back, a flame reignited, and new memories to smile at. Having you back in Lubbock was like being back in that feeling of being home… But I can't go back to you. I can't go back to the destruction you once caused.

You popped back into my life incredibly unexpected which isn't a bad thing. I loved catching up with you and going back to the same old T & H that we were. But you showed up when I was leaving my rock bottom. You showed up as I regained my confidence, self worth, mental and physical health, and found myself after losing sight of everything I was. But you will not have the opportunity to hurt me again and take away every ounce of progress I have made.

I don’t care how much you say you've missed me.

I don't care how many times you say you'll do anything to have me back.

I don't care how much you say you've changed.

I don’t care how many times you say that she made you realize what you lost with me.

If you couldn’t appreciate what you had when you had it, then you don’t deserve to have me while I am living my best life.

So even if this isn't my final goodbye, this is my final goodbye to what we were and anything we could be. We have our own progress to make, let's not tear each other back down.