Whether I'm going through pleasant or dreadful days, long or short, to completely unwinding down with some coffee and friends, or to find out that I do, in fact, have to go to my 7 p.m. class, that I hoped would get canceled numerous times, the Lord has always been so good to me. I have been coming out of my shell and starting to challenge myself to new things. I want to see the whole world, but if I don't get out of my comfort zone, that may never happen.
Jesus has opened my eyes to new and amazing things. I've been working hard to push aside all the negative emotions I've been having. That has been a challenge for me so far, as having too much time on my plate became a bad habit for me last semester. It gave me too much time to think about horrible scenarios. I had flashbacks of my terrible experiences, yet God took me out of that dark place that I had completely become succumbed to. I'm growing, and I think it's time to move on.
I have found many reasons to continue to pursue my dreams and make them into reality. I may not know exactly how I'll get there, but God will show me the way. I'm excited and afraid. The overwhelming feeling of not knowing what there is to come, yet the excitement and anxiety that accompanies it, makes it worthwhile. Somewhere along the lines of chasing my dreams, I lost my way into a different direction. If this is where God wants me, this is where I'll go, otherwise, I want to continue on the path I had planned on going. God shows us what we need to see and hear, and maybe there are times where we need to understand that we can't always get what we want out of life. In that moment, it can be tragic, but it's reality and we all have a choice to make.
Growing out of my comfort zone, I've learned and experienced things that I've never thought I would ever experience. I have found new interests and hobbies, met new people and have come to know new places. There are so many things that God has given me the opportunity to see and hear, and despite whether it be good or bad, it paves a way into what my future will look like, whether I picture it that way o r not.
It is not in my power to say how I want my future to be, but God’s. He's the only one who knows what my future will look like and He's the only one who can paint it the way He wants it to be. I've come to learn many things, and one of them being the biggest, is not to be selfish. I had never realized or imagined that I would be that person to be selfish with my own life. I didn't want anyone, including God, to take control over my own life, but now I see that it isn't up to me. His will be done.
Day by day, I'm learning to open up more to God than I had yesterday, and I see the difference it makes in my life when I let Him take control.
